Michael and Jaspenelle

Women-Only Gatherings

Occasionally people seem really shocked when they find this out about me, but I do not attend woman-only gatherings. At times people try to imply that maybe Michael is forcing me not to attend, and this is very much not the case (not that that convinces the skeptics.) I admit I like him there, he completes me in ways almost impossible to explain, but I do go to unisex gatherings by myself. I go to gatherings with only women too, but not ones that bare men from attending.

If there are woman-only gatherings out there that empowering women through means other than cutting down men, I have not yet found them (and I have been to many, so it is not lack of effort on my part.) Because of this, I prefer to avoid that particular type of exclusive gathering. I do not feel I benefit soulfully from them and it is not worth it to me to dig continue searching in the hopes of finding one that would make me comfortable.

I am not trying to be rude nor I am not try to say that such gatherings are “wrong”, they may be beneficial to some and I respect that, but please understand and respect my choice not to attend and do not try to force my hand. It will not work and just annoys me.

Feminine vs Feminist

I consider myself feminine, not a feminist. I think there is a distinct difference. To start with, I don’t believe men and women are equal. (Bare with me, I will explain what I mean by that.)

Being feminine to me, is to embrace my intellectual and sexual powers as a woman, without holding them as bait or superiority above anyone, male or female. It is about being comfortable about where I am in life. Being “at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing”, so to say.

I feel, once upon a time, being a feminist was about this. It was about achieving equality in certain things; pay in the workplace; voting rights; protection from domestic violence and harassment; a right to purchase birth control; etc, but still recognizing the distinct differences between man and woman. Now feminism seems more about putting men “in their place” and asserting dominance over them. For example:

Awhile ago I was talking to a woman who asked me if I intended to be at a stay-at-home mother. I do, as I feel it will be more beneficial to them then being place into a nanny’s arms or daycare at three months old, besides I also have a home business. The woman then proceeded to unleash a tirade about how I was a disgrace to the “feminist movement” for only aspiring to be a lowly housewife rather then asserting myself into the workplace being “The Dominant Sex”.

I might have dismissed her argument as a fluke in the feminist community but I have found such statements to be so reoccurring as to completely turn me off to the concept of modern feminism.

But I said I don’t think men and women are equal, didn’t I? Isn’t that imply one is “The Dominant Sex” and “The Submissive Sex”? Not quite.

Starting from a purely physical standpoint, women bear children, men do not. However the children would not be possible without the man’s seed. Neither can be superior as the process is mutually symbiotic.

Psychologically, women, in general, tend to be nurturers and men, in general, tend to be protectors. Some seem to feel this turns women into victims, but I don’t feel they realize the power of a nurturer. Protectors need love and care, they need nurturers. In turn nurturers need the feelings of stability and safety that a protector can provide. Now I am not saying that every relationship has to have a man and woman to be functional, I am a supporter of gay rights, and believe those relationships can be just as functional. However many of the gay relationships I have seen have someone in the role of nurturer and someone as protector as well.

So in conclusion, I think I am more of an advocate of balance, instead of the constant power struggle between the sexes. In my opinion relationships, including platonic ones, need a yin and yang balance to promote healing and growth.