Michael and Jaspenelle

Nightmares and Dreams

I had a bunch of dreams last night, all very disjointed and some nightmarish (though a little funny upon waking up.) These are the ones I remember clearly enough to describe:

Michael and I had just bought a house and were standing in the living room, which had wooden floors and lots of windows. I noticed the living room window was a drive thru window. I stuck my head out and a car pulled up with two of my friends (in the dream, I don’t know them in real life.) The woman, who was South African, gave me a $20 bill for something and drove off to catch a plane. She had a bear decal on the back of her car. I took the $20 to Michael and explained we should split it 50/50 so he gave me $10 of his money from his wallet and took the $20. I decided I was going to put my $10 in my gardening fund jar. I went to find the jar.

Then I woke up briefly. It was raining outside. I laid in bed for a few listening to that lovely sound and enjoying the fresh air. I dozed off.

I was walking in the forest eating a carrot when I saw a huge brown/gray bear. It saw me too and started coming towards me. I stopped, rang by bear bell and yelled at it, which didn’t affect the bear walking towards me. Apparently bear bells and yelling don’t work in dreams (I have heard they pretty much don’t work with some bears in the wild either.) The bear started trotting and I ran, at which point I realized I didn’t have shoes on - still had my carrot though! A crow flew over my head and led me to a I found a hollowed out tree stump and hid in it. But the bear found me and started ripping at the tree stump with his claws. I was utterly terrified, I knew the bear wanted my carrot and would kill me for it but I didn’t want to give it to him because, well, it was my carrot!

Then Damian woke me up. 3am! Time for potty and a boob, and then back to sleep.

Back to Michael and my new house, we had just finished moving in when a pipe broke upstairs which leaked through the ceiling onto my altar and ran the paint of a painting I made that hangs on the wall above it. I moved all the stuff and was frustrated because now we had to pay to have that problem fixed.

Then a friend came over (again a dream friend, don’t know her in real life) she had a harp with her for whatever reason. All I remember about her is that she had a mass of lovely curly hair. Her husband and a little girl were with her too. She helped me clean up some water and then played the harp to help me relax as we waited for the repairman. We talked about breastfeeding and parenting and music. Michael was playing with Damian, who was a bit older as well as the little girl. We ate chili and cornbread together too after the repairman came. Oddly enough his business logo was a bear.

Then the alarm clock went off, dang it! I have reason to believe that AZ from Kitsch and Giggles was the lady in the last dream as she plays the harp and I have found out today has curly hair. She and I have spoken a few times about breastfeeding too, (she should totally be an LLL mom.) AZ also had a dream about me last night.

Coincidence? Synchronicity? What about the bear symbol in all the dreams?

Sun Worship

Anyone who knows me even vaguely knows I adore the sun, I love it more then the moon even. (Is that considered Pagan sacrilege? Hehe!) I could care less about tanning though I do love my sun kisses (freckles.) For me it is more the mere presence of the sun that uplifts and empowers me. Every morning, especially when I am up to see the sun breaking the horizon, I say a little sun mantra to myself thanking it for being there for me.

I love drawing styled suns too, even my business logo has the sun in it. I love depictions of the sun, anything that catches the sun’s rays, and solar colors. Orange is my absolute favorite color. I have sun catchers in almost every window of my home, a couple of which are dragonflies, my personal sun totem. The snake, another one of my totems is definitely a sun worshiper like me. When I stand in the sun I feel like the snake, my batteries are charging up.

Whether the sun comes out or not during the day greatly affects my moods, which is evident in the past couple days. The night before last I barely got any sleep and the next day dawned gray and drizzly. I had a miserable day yesterday. Last night I didn’t get much sleep either but it was sunny today and I feel exponentially better even with my body hurting and I am a little wiped out.

What can I say? I must be solar powered!
If I loved the sun anymore I just might start photosynthesizing…

~~~

In news from the swelling baby belly front, Michael and I are pretty sure one of my ovarian cysts ruptured at about 2am last night. I thought my appendix has burst it was so excruciating - but I feel perfectly fine today though and the baby is as active as ever. Whatever twist of evolution caused cysts to exist should be kicked repeatedly in the head.

Snake Dreams - interpreted

This is my interpretation of my two recent snake dreams:
(Raveness I replied to your comment in that entry.)

The first dream:
I feel this dream is mainly my subconscious telling me that I am not seeing an illusion that is in front of me and I need to get some glasses on. I think this because the snakes in the dream were similar but one was poisonous and one was not. (I think the snakes were a coral snake and a milk snake.)

The second dream:
I am not too sure about this one actually. The World Tree is an important symbol to me, without getting too deeply into it, I feel my path leads both to and from it (in a metaphorical sense of course.) The current “path” that I am on is reaching childbirth and embracing this life phase. The snake may be my primary guide for these coming months.

The boomslang is poisonous and may represent two things. It may be my protective nature towards my baby, but that I must be careful not to lash out unless I am threatened. It may also be related to the boomslang’s specific type of venom, which is hemotoxic, (this means it attacks your red blood cells.) It could be a reminder that everything I put into my body (represent by the snake passing through my chakras) reaches my baby.

I have a feeling this dream will become clearer over time.

Snake Dreams

(I drew this last February, I was originally going to henna it on the head of my dream but I found out my drum is treated, so it won’t take the henna. I need an untreated drum…)

I do not know when I saw my first snake but since I can remember I visualized snakes when I was scared. Because of this I see them as a protective power animal. When I was upset the image of myself covered in snakes would come to mind, they would all be hissing at whatever bothered me. Oddly it was not until recently that I had too much of an interest in the different species of snakes, maybe because I was always covered in a variety of snakes until the past year or so.

I had two snake dreams last night:

I was trying to find my glasses [this happens occasionally in my dreams] and instead I found two snakes. One was red and black banded (kind of like this one - thanks for the picture Kyrss!) and the other was black and red with a yellow band between the stripes (Kyrss said it might be a coral snake?) I was surrounded by mirrors in this dream.

I didn’t get much of a closer look as I couldn’t find my glasses and the dream began to fade.

The next dream actually happened while I napped this morning:

I was standing under the World Tree and there was a large snake hanging from one of its branches. I had my glasses in this dream I guess and I saw the snake quite well as I was only standing a couple feet from it.

[It was greenish/brown, more green then brown, with egg shaped yellow eyes and round pupils. It's scales were quite well defined because each one seemed to have black line around the edge. It was moderately skinny snake that was maybe 4 feet long. I am thinking it might be a boomslang?]

The tree was beautiful, it had branches that were in all seasons and I could hear the calls of various animals in its branches. Both the sun and the moon were high above, stars were out in one portion of the sky. I recognized one of my guides, a white raven on a branch near by as well as a green mamba. They did not seem to notice me in the dream though, so I returned focus to the first snake. He did not speak to me in the dream but I felt at peace with him near. I also got a strong mental image of a snake being my backbone and the pathway between my chakras.

The snake is one of my favorite aspects of symbolism. I wrote about it in my diary awhile ago:

In ever culture you will find legends of the serpent. It is a creature who cannot leave the ground, therefor tied to base desires and material matters. But it is also a creature about to shed its own skin and because of this, it is a powerful symbol of resurrection, rebirth and self-awakening. These two factors give the snake its dual nature, linking it both to the Heavens and the Earth.

Since becoming pregnant I have found myself more drawn to the snake as my totem. In my dreams she often appears as the blue eyes bringer of wisdom, as well as a birther of creation and manifestation. In a lot of ways her dyadic nature is reflected in another of my totems, the white raven. I wonder if there are any ties between the vulture and the snake? Weren’t they both on the Pharaoh’s crown?

In the past year I have noticed three reoccurring snakes in my meditations and dreams. The first is the green mamba, the second is a black and white sea krait. Both these always have blue eyes, though in the physical world there eyes are different. The third snake, and most recent is this black/yellow/red snake or red/black, which has only appeared fleetingly since I have become pregnant.

Any thoughts on possible meaning of either of these dreams? I have my own thoughts but I would like to hear yours first.