Michael and Jaspenelle

Woodburned Altar

Last week (just before the plague hit) I finished woodburning the top of our family altar. A friend made the solid pine piece as a handfasting gift to us. I struggled for a long time with what I wanted on it and I decided in the end that simple was best. The wood still needs to be finished. I am going to do that this summer with tung oil.

Up until last week, I was certain I was going to do my full personal symbol on it. Now I think I am going to leave it as is and engrave the central moon triquetra on that glass disk That will have to wait till after the move though. Tonight we are taking the altar over to our new home and doing a small house blessing ritual, so I am glad I finished it.

Why Not?: Association Meme

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/items that I associate you with. Then post this on your blog and elaborate on the subjects given. Link the post to me if you do this meme so that I don’t miss it!

Or if you want, just comment here on five things that you associate with me and I will share my thoughts on what you say. I will only comment on each thing once though, (but I don’t mind if you say something someone else said!)

Zyleeth said:

Family: This is definitely one of the most important aspects in my life, though my definition of family is not necessarily defined by blood relation. In fact I think, for the most part, blood ties are a very shallow reason to want to be around someone. I have friends who are family to me. I don’t need to agree completely ideologically or spiritually with a person for them to be family, but I do need to feel welcomed, respected, and the other person needs to have an open mind.

Intelligence: How flattering! I suppose I do have a decent head on my shoulder. I really like to have a plan and to work through all the possibilities in my mind before executing an important task. That said, I trust my gut a lot of the time when results could fall either way.

Passion: Ice ice baby! Wrong kind of passion? I certainly have a passion for life, I adore this little blue ball of life we are riding around the universe. Greatest rollercoaster ever. I have some topics I am more passionate about then others of course, like homesteading and green living, but I love learning about just about anything. I am passionate about people too, I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. I truly believe we can learn from every experience, good or bad.

Phoenixes: Ah, Zyleeth knows! I adore phoenixes, though my views of them are not necessarily traditional. My avatar is a water phoenix, an blue, silver, orange and gold beauty with trailing tails erupting out of the ocean (or river, or well… not puddles though) dripping with flame and water. A symbol of rebirth from the Earth’s womb of course, as well as a reflection of the more mercurial aspect of my subconscious.

Spirituality: I am an intensely spiritual person, and I tend to view almost all parts of my life as some aspect of my spirituality. I am also a very open person so if people ask I will freely discuss my beliefs. Family, living with respect for to the earth, community and ancestor veneration are probably the most important facets of my spirituality. I do not put much faith in deities, nor do I see them as all powerful, but I do believe in wise spirits and they have my respect. When seeking other like-minded people I tend to connect best with Pagans and other Earth-based spiritualists, but I like that I can find common ground with almost any faith (though they do not necessarily see the same correlations.)

Zuca said:

(He also elaborated on each other items in his comment which he didn’t need to do, but is a pretty cool read.)

Belief: See Zyleeth’s list (spirituality.)

Hard Worker: I love having results, so I guess I am a hard worker, that said, if I do not really want to do something, I really won’t. Like right now, I could be cleaning the kitchen, but I would rather be answering this meme. It is important to kick back and have fun too.

Intelligence: See Zyleeth’s list.

Optimism: Probably one of my most recognizable personality traits is this. I am often the incurable optimist, oddly enough, it is not because I necessarily am inside, but it is because someone has to be, and optimists are in short supply in the world. More often then not it is harder to see the good in people then the bad so it is a personal challenge for me too. Besides I heard optimists live longer.

Stubbornness: I would be lying if I said I was not stubborn, but I’ll pick it over being walked on. Generically speaking people seem to correlate optimism with doormat and think I will be a pushover. Little do they know, mwahahahaha! Seriously though I can become really pigheaded if I do not watch it, especially when I have a new idea.

My Friends

(Left to Right: Michael, Shannon, Ileen holding Damian, Andrea, Peter and Caswallon.)

Community is an important aspect of my spiritual self, and to that extent friendship is too. I can’t imagine life without good friends spending good times together (or supporting each other through any bad times.) I am an extrovert, I am a people person, I need people to share with to be balanced and happy.

I feel blessed with a wonderful talented amazing circle of friends, who I am able to see often and who accept my family wholeheartedly. I am blessed that we can get crazy silly and serious when need be with each other. I am blessed with honest friends who are not afraid of sharing their opinions, and who know themselves, and who are still open-minded enough to be accepting of new ideas. I am blessed with friends so close that they feel like family and that Damian has such fantastic “aunts and uncles” to grow up knowing.

Michael and I quite possibly have some of the greatest friends in the world. They are made of pure awesome (with several cups of sexy piratiness added in.) We might not always agree but we can always get along. Love you guys!

Oimelc

If today be sunny and bright, Winter again will show its might.
If today be cloudy and gray, Winter soon will pass away.

In northern climates, the first days of February look nothing like Spring, but if you look closely you can see the small but sturdy signs of changing seasons begin to appear. Maybe it rains more often then it snows, or the days are noticeably longer, maybe the winds bite is a little less harsh, or the sun a little warmer. Whatever the sign is, it hints that Spring is just around the corner.

Oimelc falls on February 1st, approximately half way between Winter Solstice and the Vernal Equinox. It literally means “ewe’s milk”, and refers to the ewes are nursing their newly born lambs, another indication of the coming of Spring. It is sometimes called Imbolc, Brighid, Lupercalia (not celebrated until the 13th) or Candlemas (though this refers to a Catholic holiday.)

As with many of the Pagan sabbats, Oimelc’s history is firmly rooted in Celtic tradition, though it also borrows some Roman and Christian ideas. Lupercalia was an ancient, possibly pre-Roman, festival where all evil spirits were driven out of the city and spirits of health and fertility were invited in. Old hearth fire were extinguished and new ones lit, old candles were also replaced and blessed. Many of Lupercalia’s customs were integrated into Catholicism when the Roman Empire converted, minus the orgies of course.

In Celtic culture, this was a time of weather divination, usually done by observing the hibernation patterns of snakes, many believe that this custom evolved into the secular Groundhog Day. The snake was a creature revered for its sacred wisdom. The snake was one of the many animals associated with the goddess Brighid, to whom this day is also given to, Là Fhéill Bhrìghde. She was such a powerful deeply ingrained symbol to the Celtic tribes, the Christian missionaries chose to make her a saint rather then try to remove her from importance.

Brighid was the keeper of the sacred flame and guardian of home and hearth, though she is said to have had two sisters, Brighid the Physician and Brighid the Smith. Most people see these three women as aspects of the same goddess, one of poetry, healing, and smithcraft.

In Scottish legend is the said that one the eve of Oimelc, the Cailleach (Old Woman Winter) takes a journey to a sacred well on a magical island. As dawn breaks , she drinks from it and is transformed into Bride (another spelling of Brighid), the beautiful maiden whose white wand turns the bare earth green again. Again, many people see the Cailleach and Bride and Brighid as one and the same, often referring to her as a triple goddess, at once maiden, mother and crone.

All these celebrations have led to very diverse Oimelc celebration among modern Pagans. This is a time many will reevaluate personal relationships and habits to decide what needs to be discarded in their lives. Renewal of old pledges or commitments to new ones are done at this time as well.

This emotional purging is often accompanied by physical purging, either by beginning Spring cleaning or decluttering altars and other spiritual supplies. Many Pagans make or purchase their candles for the year around this time and consecrate them on Oimelc as they are an important symbol of this sabbat.

On a personal level, I rarely do much on Oimelc. It has taken me a long time to be able to connect with this sabbat as most other Pagans I know connect it more with a goddess then a seasonal transformation. As I have become acclimated to life in the Inland Northwest though I have started to see the unique beauty in this time of year.

To me, Oimelc represents a hidden transformation. I feel the coming of Spring in my heart more then see it in the land. The increasing daylight lightens my mood and renews my energy so that I can work on projects that have probably taken a back burner during the drearier days Winter. I take time on Oimelc to meditate on what I would like to see grow in my life and in my community. If we listen closely we can hear the land whispering of the changing seasons. The Vernal Equinox is only seven weeks away and Oimelc celebrates the anticipation of Spring.

Oimelc: in our home

(Collecting reeds with our friend Sal to make Brighid’s Crosses.)

Activities:

• Burning Winter Solstice greens
• Candle making and consecrating
• Candlelit purification procession
• Ritual: initiations, dedications
• Spring cleaning
• Visiting a spring or well
• Writing poetry

Crafts:

• Bread Making
• Brighid’s Wheel
• Candle Making
• Knitting and Weaving

Decorations:

• Candles
• Cauldron
• Colors: red, white
• Hibernating animals
• Seasonal plants and foods
• Suns
• Woolen items

Oimelc: feast

We went over to some friends this year for Imbolc, so I just made bread and dip to share. Otherwise I would have made red (tomato) and white raviolis with cheese filling, roasted herbed potatoes and granitas from pluots I froze this summer. Maybe next year!

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BREAD: focaccia
This year I added 1/4 cup chopped dried tomatoes that I packed in oil this summer. I also infused some of the oil with basil and oregano and used that as well.

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BREAD DIP: Sun-dried Tomato and Basil

• 8 sun-dried tomatoes
• 1 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 tsp dried basil (2 tbsp fresh if you have it)
• 1/2 tsp cayenne

Put everything into a blender and pulse till smooth. Let sit for 6 hours or overnight.

I hope you all have a most blessed and joyful Oimelc, Winter is drawing to a close and the wheel turns to the warmth of Spring.

Breath.

Breath.
Breath love into the palms of your hands
and place your flaming palms over your heart.
Let this warmth melt your fears like wax before a fire
and watch the delicious softening reveal the wildflower of your heart.
We must live with Hearts Wide Open.
Hearts Wildly Open.

    - Kali Heydel

Winter Solstice

Brightly burns our fire tonight.
Magic dances with candlelight.

Hold my hand and join in song.
Raise the Sun King bright and strong!

Dark is giving way to light.
Brightly burns the fire tonight.

Winter Solstice is the shortest day and longest night of the year. It falls around December 21st of each year. It is a festival day in many cultures often calling for bright lights and fires, freshly cut evergreens, feasting with loved ones and singing and dancing. These festivities serve to rekindle the human spirit in the heart of winter.

In many modern Pagan traditions, Winter Solstice, is a celebration of the rebirth of the sun. Many still hold vigils awaiting the dawn, heralding the sun as the God reborn from the sacred womb of the Goddess. In other traditions a great battle is waged between the Oak King and Holly King where the Oak King triumphs returning to the world to longer warmer days.

It is a near certainty that Winter Solstice was of significant importance to ancient people, especially Proto-Celtic tribes. The evidence of this is obvious in the layouts of the stone monuments of New Grange in Ireland and Stonehenge in Britain. Each of these sites was carefully built to line up with the solstice sunrise. It can be suggested that the marking of midwinter was important for ancient communities because the people needed an approximate idea of how long their stored provisions had to last.

The most common alternate name for Winter Solstice is Yule a term originating from ancient Norse and Germanic tribes. It began as a celebration marking a 60 day time beginning at the lunar midwinter, but by the late Viking Age, it had become a great solstitial midwinter festival that amalgamated the traditions of various midwinter celebrations across Europe. On the the eve of Yule a huge log was lit in honor Thor, god of thunder, and feasting would continue until it burned out, which could be up to twelve days! A portion of the log was saved to be used in the lighting of the next year’s log. (more…)

Winter Solstice

I could post about the weekend, or my usual sabbat write up, or link to my podcast but, my write up needs some final touches, as does the podcast… As for posting about my weekend, it was wonderful but I am tuckered out! So I will write more tomorrow, but I wanted to say

Finding Faith

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

When I was a teenager, I was rather desperately trying to find faith. Faith in what, I didn’t know, but faith of some kind. It was not a desire that I frequently (if ever) discussed with most of my family or friends, I didn’t think they would understand. I don’t know why I am thinking about it today, probably because I heard Amazing Grace on the radio and that song always stirs a deep well of spiritual emotions in me.

When I was younger we visited Mexico and I stayed with my Uncle Philip for a week or two. He is a minister so we attended his church. They sang and danced and some of the people in his church were “touched” by God. They collapsed on the floor and it looked like they were having seizures. I was completely terrified. I did not understand why God had to induce medical problems like that to make people feel his presence. It seemed cruel and wrong. I felt really out of place because I felt nothing, not so much as a twitch or inkling of another tongue. So I just stood there until my brother came over and we left and went for a walk I think.

I am not saying that the people in that church were wrong in there practice, they have a right to it. But I am saying that I was not emotionally prepared to be thrown into an environment like that without any notice. The masses I have been to in Catholic churches in France were… a lot different. I don’t blame anyone for the experience of course, but it certainly influenced my views of God.

When we lived in Spain (age 14 to 18), I remember the longing for guidance being particularly intense. I often went on walks down to one of the churches in Sitges and just sat in the pews, sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for more then an hour. A man (I’m pretty sure he was a priest) came over and tried to talk with me a couple times and I passed myself off as a tourist. I was too scared to talk to him. If I spoke better Spanish, I told myself, I would go to confession. I don’t know what I would have said though. Instead of confession I spoke to God instead, telling him all the things that were on my mind, and then I waited. I don’t know what I was wait for, guidance I suppose. Though I think at the time I might have needed really bold statement to notice, an angel or white light and voice. I think I wanted him to appear, not speak to me through a messenger.

I only went to this church once on a Sunday and it was too much for me. I felt so very out of place. I was not very much for public displays of emotion, so when I was there on Sunday, surrounded by all those people of strong Christian faith, I felt like a fraud.

Sometimes I skipped school and would just wander around until I found a church. I would sit in a pew staring at the altar or building architecture and talking to God. I would be there usually until someone came up and tried to start a conversation with me. That always scared me off. Eventually I figured out that God wasn’t going to answer me, not in the way I wanted at least, and Christianity wasn’t right for me. So I stopped going to churches and started going to parks.

I have been aware of and involved with various forms of Paganism since I was about 14. When I wasn’t sitting in a pew I was reading about Paganism. I tried to talk to the Goddess in church a couple times but I was worried God was going to hear me giving up on him. The Christian God has always has the stern father archetype in my mind.

Anyhow, when I gave up on church I started going to parks and it was in one I found faith. I remember exactly how it happened. I had skipped school that day, my friend was going to come with me but she bailed last minute so I was alone. I wandered to a park near my school. I found a secluded bench surrounded by flowers and weeping trees. I laid there, closed my eyes and asked for a sign. When I opened my eyes and saw the sun filtering through the leaves above me. It was at that exact moment I found faith. It was a feeling that is really hard to describe (unless you have been there I guess.)

I didn’t cry or collapse or anything, I just knew that I was in the presence of something amazing. I felt as though Mother Earth had risen up and hugged me and Father Sky wrapped me a cocoon of light. I didn’t feel guilty or like a fraud, I felt unconditionally loved and welcomed. They weren’t there as angels or priests but they were there in person, not so much as gods but more as eternal but kindred spirits embodied in the trees, flowers, sun and sky. They were tangible and real, and they saved me.

One could say I have been a devoted “Pagan” ever since, though I don’t follow the God and Goddess, I walk with them. We are all Eternal Spirits. They are much older and more knowledgeable then I of course but not detached omnipotent beings. When I speak to them I feel them immediately and viscerally. They are real to me.

A lot more happened between that day and now that has shaped my faith but I will save it for another post.

Wheel of the Year

This is something I have been working on for a couple days, all the photos are my own. I am not sure if it is done yet. That sun is part of my logo/personal symbol that my friend turned into a vector for me. I am probably going to make this a charity print when I am sure I am done with it. (Profits going to Médecins Sans Frontières.) Need to finish revamping my site first too.

Prayer

My handmade mala beads, stained yellow with turmeric and individually polished with beeswax. A labor of love which I use everyday.