Michael and I have been together for five years this coming June, wow doesn’t time fly? I feel like I have known him forever though, I feel like I have never known a time when I didn’t love him. I am so grateful to have someone as supportive and caring as him to share my life with. I think he is the most amazing father, the most loving husband and he is my very best friend.
Happy 26th Birthday Michael! I love you with all my heart.
So the city is treating all roads and closed right now. Why? Well because it is snowing.
We live on the South Hill (for those who don’t know Spokane, it is a 2500 foot hill in the city - Michael works at the bottom, we live at the top.) Michael normally takes Thor up but chains are required and it is backed up a couple miles and people are stalling out. He is in the Fred Myer parking lot at the bottom on the hill right now. All the other roads are closed and clogged so plows can’t get up them.
We are use to snow of course, Spokane is right between the Cascades and the Rockies, but normally we don’t get more then 4 inches at a time since we are in a valley. We have gotten 9 to 11 inches in 9 hours and they are calling for solid snow and possibly 10 more inches by tomorrow. The city puts deicer down but it is too cold for it to work (it needs to be 15°F and it is 9°F.) It has been below 14 for about a week now.
We are having a black out problem too. The power keeps browning out here.
I am not overly concerned, we do have blankets and such in the van and Michael’s boss said anyone who can’t get home is welcome to come back and stay there for the night. I would appreciate positive thoughts for Michael though. He is an excellent driver, I am just worried about those other people on the road and it is expected to get really cold tonight. And I miss him of course!
Anyhow I am going to go ahead and post this before the power dies…
EDIT: Michael managed to make it to our friend Shannon’s house and is staying there for the night.
I had a dream last night that a couple military men came to the door wanting Damian to answer his draft notice. I tried to tell them he was too young (he was only three years old in the dream) but they wanted him anyways. They were holding a gun for him. They had a draft notice for Michael too. I was so angry at the government from taking away the people I love.
I told the soldiers to wait in the kitchen while I got a couple things for Damian. I told them Michael would be home in a few minutes. I took Damian, went upstairs and I called Michael when I was upstairs and told him what was going on. He said “you know what to do.”
I did. I dug a shotgun out of the closet and went downstairs and shot the military men. I dragged their bodies into the garden and put a tarp over them. I went and got Damian from upstairs and we started packing. Michael got home a few minutes later and we loaded the car and started driving to Canada. All the billboards on the way had patriotic and religious slogans and Palin on them. I was so disgusted.
We picked up Michael’s family, who also had to flee since they were the “wrong” kind of Christian (they are LDS) as well as Michelle, Mikcos and Nathan because Nathan had gotten his notice. I woke up when we were getting on the road again.
Very freaky.
Have I ever mentioned that I am being raised as a computer geek?
3 out of 5 girl babies dig geek babies.
I was standing in the middle of a very flat desolate landscape, with hard white ground as far as the eye could see, perhaps it was a salt flat. I am standing looking towards the pale blue sky with my arms raised, palms up, the wind is blowing my skirt behind me. I am wearing a blue ground length skirt, almost exactly like this one and a fuchsia peasant blouse, similar to this one. I am also wearing Damian in my Maya wrap, except its fuchsia rather then grey.
(Yep, I said fuchsia, as in electric pink. Totally not my color, I do not even own anything remotely pink. In fact I avoid pink like the plague… but I do have to say, fuchsia didn’t look half bad on me in the dream. Dreams can make anything look good I guess!)
I was calling out some kind of invocation, I don’t remember the words, but as I spoke them everything around me turned every shades of pink imaginable. The sky, the ground, all pink, even the air seemed to take on a hazy fuchsia tint. The pink seemed to emanate from me. Gradually as my invocation came to an end the pink faded. The bright white ground and blue sky returned.
A few moments after my invocation ended, there was a rumbling, one that I felt more then heard, and suddenly it was as if the world around me was fast forwarding. Water flooded the ground, swirling up to my knees and then receding. As it receded, low growing plant life grew in its wake and insects buzzed. Small bushes grew, then shrubs, then small trees, the towering ones. Soon I was in a dense forest, not unlike Colville National Forest (that photo is taken in them.)
A huge tree grew around me and I stood in a hollow alcove within it. Ivy climbed up its trunk, draping in front of me like a curtain. The seasons changed and the ivy turned red and its leaves fell. A little boy, Damian I assume, came running out of the tree and I followed. Michael followed too (where the heck did he come from?) and snow began to fall. Spring came and the little boy brought me a (pink) daisy chain and smiled up at me.
I woke up.
The dream was very chaotic but felt powerful. I don’t know about all the pink but in a general way it represents love doesn’t it? From love life comes forth perhaps? Any thoughts?
Michael, Jaspenelle and Damian in Riverfront Park, Spokane.
(This is a little bit of a deviation from the usual square format I use in my photoblog. My father actually took this photo, but I want to put it in a 5×7 frame I have so I spent some time modifying it in GIMP. I am really pleased with the final product.)
Windigo is definitely competing for cutest pose in this shot…
His eye infection is mostly cleared up by the way. The anti-viral cream, which actually turned out to be a dietary supplement, works well. We have to keep it up though or it comes back within a couple days.
I don’t care how they flavor any cat medication by the way, my cats will never ever lick it off my finger. Does anyone’s cat take medication willingly?
This is the story of Damian’s birth, as I remember it. I don’t remember all the times and everything that was said but I want to get it all typed out, from my perspective. Damian is a month old as I write this, nursing at the moment, so pardon any typos, I still get distracted gazing at my perfect little boy.
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We are long gestators in my family so when I lost my mucus plug at 3:30am on June 6th, 2008, 10 days before my due date, I didn’t think too much of it. When the contractions started an hour later I still thought it was false labor, even though they were regular and noticeable, unlike my braxton hicks. My husband and I were both awake at that point though and starting it get a little excited. We started timing the contractions and when they were about 7 minutes apart we called my midwife, Linda, to let her know what was going on, it was about 7am. We also called my mother-in-law, Kim, who assisted us in the birth (and for a couple days afterwards.)
I stayed home until around noon and then we went to the birth center, which is just 15 minute away from our home. I was bubbly and excited still at this point and also still was having a hard time believing I was in labor! Kim met us when we got there.
Linda checked me and I was at 3cm and the baby was fully engaged. The 3cm was a little disappointing but I know that we can labor long in my family. Linda was very encouraging and I felt we still had quite awhile to go before the birth so we went home for awhile. Kim and Michael made me spaghetti for lunch and then Michael and I took a nap. He woke to sooth me through my contractions, especially as they started to get longer and stronger.
At three I went to the bathroom and fluid went all down my leg and on the floor during a contraction. Thinking my water had broken, we called Linda and she had us return to the birth center. She gave me a vaginal wash since I had group B strep (I opted for that rather then IV antibiotics.) She also checked me while she was doing that and I was still only 3cm, my bag of waters was still intact as well (I’d simply wet myself at home.) I did stayed at the birth center from that point on though.
Time passed, I napped on and off. Linda came in a few times to check on us a few times, Michael was pushing on my lower back for every contraction at this point and I felt the need to move around quite a bit in between them. I really wanted to get into the tub but I had to wait till I was 5cm before I could (or else it can slow your labor.) I am glad I didn’t hop in the tub right away though or else I would not have discovered the birthing ball. So comfortable to lean over! Still, I wanted the tub and finally at 7pm I hit 5cm, so I got in. It was bliss! Michael got in behind me to rub my back. It was intimate and wonderful. We whispered encouraging words to each other between contractions. I was getting more low-tone vocal during my contractions and they were also starting to get more and more intense. I ultimately got out of the tub and returned to my (beloved) birthing ball for the rest of labor.
Around nine my midwife gave me another vaginal wash and checked me. I was 6cm and we found my bag of waters was still intact. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep but my body wasn’t having any of that! We discussed break my water, and ultimately decided to do that. Linda broke my water at 9:15pm.
Almost immediately after my water was broken I went into transition, Michael knealed behind me and leaned on my back for the whole time. When Linda came back in and checked me she found (a little to her surprise) that I was pushing. I had actually been trying to fight that urge because I thought it was a bowel movement and didn’t want to poo in front of anyone (I am a bit of a type-A personality. Not being in control? Not an option!) Michael reminded me I had to let go so that the baby could come. I finally surrender to my body and felt the strong urges to push rush over me like waves crashing on a shoreline. I hard hardly started pushing when Linda told me the baby was crowning and I got to touch his head. Knowing he was coming out opened up a huge well of inner strength and gave me the power to keep going. The feeling of him coming out of my body was orgasmic.
I don’t remember sitting back, or ending up on the bed, but I found myself holding my baby boy against my chest, his pulsing cord connecting the two of us. He only screamed for a minute before looking at me with his beautiful big eyes. We laid like that for what seemed like no time and forever, skin to skin, my baby boy was perfect in every way. According to my husband, the single word I uttered in that time was a simple soft “wow”. I had never even held a baby under a year in my whole life but it felt so natural. I have never felt such a deep feeling of connectivity, devotion and love. Michael snuggled beside us on the bed and we just sat there in that place of ultimate bliss.
When Damian’s cord stopped pulsing, the midwife left me cut it and she took him briefly to weigh and measure him, 8lbs 8oz, 21 inches long! She never left the bedside with him, he never left our sight and as soon as she was done we was right back in our arms. Michael finally got to hold him while I delivered the placenta and then got checked and dressed. I tore a tiny bit but didn’t need stitches. I felt as if I was floating from joy.
Three hours after he was born, we were buckling him into his carseat and listening to Linda give us the run down of things to watch for over the next 24 hours (when she would come check on us at home.) I sat with Damian in the back seat on the way home, I couldn’t take my eyes off my beautiful baby. I had such an overwhelming feeling of love filling my heart (I still get this feeling when I look at him.) When we got home exhaustion finally did hit, like a hammer, and Michael and I crawled into bed with our most beautiful gift ever.
So that is my birth story with Damian. I was hard, yes, but worth every moment. If I had had drugs or doctors hovering over me waiting for something to go wrong I think I might have felt robbed of the birth experience and not have been able to bond with my baby so instantly. To have those present listen to me and trust my body as much as I did was empowering. This was my first birth, a natural childbirth, and the only way I ever want to give birth.
Let’s see, in the past three and a half weeks I’ve given birth, got a bladder infection (remember to stay hydrated people!), the van has broken down, Damian and I have gotten thrush and now Windigo has an eye infection, it looks like Aos is getting it too.
Seriously, is financial stress part of parenthood? Why does everything seem to go expensively wrong at the same time.
The gas pump died on our van a week ago and apparently a former owner replaced the fuel line with normal hose so it has to be replaced too (since it was leaking.) $700 for that. We broke down in a parking lot on our way to my two week midwife appointment, that was fun in the blistering heat. Our friend Shannon came and picked up Damian and I though (bless her) while Michael waited for the tow truck.
Damian and I have thrush at the moment (it is basically a yeast infection in his mouth that got transfered to my breasts.) I get chronic yeast infections so it is not too surprising but it is certainly not making the nursing experience pleasant. We are treating it though and it is starting to improve. I feel guilty for giving it to him, though I know it is really not my fault. though I could cut more sugars out of my diet (which hasn’t been the best this past few weeks…) I had forgotten till now how much my physical and mental self suffers when I do not control my diet better. It is more stressful emotionally then financially. It is making Damian’s bowel movements irregular, it is hard to see him struggle. I have been wearing him in the sling most of the day so that he feels secure, it seems to be helping.
I called the vet today and explained that we really couldn’t afford to bring the cats in but that I know what is wrong with them (they get this thing about once a year, it is a reoccurring herpes eye infection. They get it when they get stressed.) I said we would bring them in if we had to though, they are part of our family after all. Luckily the vet was really understanding and though he can’t give us the antibiotic without seeing them, he can give us an anti-viral gel. Michael is picking it up after work. We have never used this treatment on them so fingers crossed that it works.
Does anyone else has this problem with any of their animals? Is there anything preventative you do for it (other then trying to keep them low stress?)
The +90F heat isn’t helping any of this. We don’t have screens so we can’t open the windows to get a breeze going (we only have AC in one room) the cats would get out if I opened them as is. I called the landlady about it today and tried to be as polite as possible. She was also understanding (I am thankful for all these small miracles) and is going to see what she can do about it.
I am wondering what will happen next and how we will get through it. I know we will, we always do, and if anything this makes Michael and my relationship stronger because it shows us how much we need each others support. I am quite an optomistic person but this is even dragging me down I guess.
This will probably be amusing to some, but when I am feeling down I love listening to Walking in Memphis to calm my mind. It is such a beautiful song. Marc Cohn has such and amazing voice. Music is a force more powerful then the darkest mood in my life.
