Though I don’t think you can ever be 100% sure on your dates, I have only had one menstrual cycle since giving birth to Damian, which began April 1st and lasted for 10 days and was very heavy at some points. Three days longer then my former normal, but who knows what my norm is anymore, it was my first! I started throwing up when I was “suppose to” and generally speaking my pregnancy symptoms have matched where I think I am (12 weeks.)

My midwife uses a doppler instrument to measure the fetal heartbeat (it looks like an ultrasound wand if you know what that is) but had a hard time keeping track of my passenger. He or she was either incredibly active or I have a heartbeat on either side of my uterus. According to a friend, only Dr Who can have two hearts, I wouldn’t know but I’ll take his word for it!

So on July 16th I have an ultrasound scheduled to see what’s going on in there. I won’t know right away as the tech cannot tell me my “diagnosis” (makes it sound like pregnancy is a disease doesn’t it?) as some other specialist has to look at the results and then contact my midwife and then she will call me. (Convoluted!) But I intend on watching that screen like a hawk, I know what Damian looked like in this, if it looks different think I’ll know. Especially if there are two black voids with little flickering heartbeats in them, that would be kind of hard to hide.

I’ll be completely honest and say I am kind of hoping my dates are off, not because I will not adore twins if that is the case, it just feels kind of overwhelming right now. One has been challenging enough through all the diapers, teething, feedings, bathing etc and I just imagine that times two. Did you know that since before Damian was born I have had reoccurring dreams of having a little boy first and then fraternal twins, one boy and one girl? That might have me a little nervous too.

We’ll see I guess, right?

“To mature is in part to realize that while complete intimacy and omniscience and power cannot be had, self-transcendence, growth, and closeness to others are nevertheless within one’s reach.”
- - Sissela Bok

It is so easy to become tangled in a mess of bitterness and resentment that swells to the point that it becomes hard to even remember how it began. It is sometimes hard to see that forgiveness is not the same as condoning negative behavior, nor is it the a synonym for forgetting. Rather, it is a decision to allowing positive energy hold greater sway in your life, and while forgiveness can ultimately lead to feelings for compassion for the one who hurt you, I think that it is and should be done for self first and foremost.

It is never easy for me to forgive but it is as important to my spiritual practice and wellbeing (two aspects of my life that I see as one) as the practice of compassion. How to I find the capacity to forgive within myself? That normally takes solitude on my part, often I find I have to forgive actions within my own heart before I can find enough positivity to allow myself to pardon another. Oddly enough it is easier for me to find and feel compassion for a person who hurt me long before I find forgiveness.

How about you? Is forgiveness important in your life? Why?

What is a weed but a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.

Do you remember what bed A looked like just a month ago? Now look at it!

Carrots and onions and green beans, oh my! Ignore that empty square in the back left corner. My cilantro bolted while we were at the Pagan Campout (I still need to blog about that don’t I?) so I pulled it up. Never fear though, I have the new crop already sprouting in bed B (photo to the right.) But while we are on the topic of bed B…


Cucumbers and Pumpkins (and zucchini which are not pictured.) Cucumbers… well they are rallying at least. My Sugar Pie Pumpkins are doing fabulously though, as you can tell, the kid in the corner won’t be boxed in, but I’m cool with that. I’ve always had a thing for rebels. Please ignore the weeds proliferating in the pathway, I know that I am!

I adore pumpkins, they just make me so happy. Look at this blossom! And who says yellow is an ugly color? (Oh wait, I do. I love yellow in nature!) My sunflowers have several more feet to go before their giant yellow beauties open up, and I really do mean giant, they are 12 foot heirloom Titan Sunflowers. I have them in the four corners of my beds, ants have turned them into aphid prisons.

I really love insects. Look at this jewel-like fly perched on my ground cherry. I am sure it and it’s six-legged cohorts will eat my garden (or their spawn will,) but lets just appreciate how beautiful Mr Fly is, before I catch it munching on my leaf lettuce. I just sowed my second row of lettuce a couple weeks ago (the old stuff was getting a little bitter.)

I have these beautiful Creeping Bellflower all along a section of our fence and one side of our deck. Initally I thought they were the more innocent Ladybells but they are spreading quite voraciously (they are a naturalized but ecologically invasive.) I am keeping them around for those gorgeous flowers, but I plan on annihilating them once they begin to fade. Gardening is a brutal business, I’m telling ya.

Here is a flower that will never be thinned. Mmmmmm cherry roma tomatoes or are they stupice tomatoes? Well they are one of my 4 varieties of heirlooms. Basil is keeping them all company. Basil and tomatoes are just meant to go together. Can you say bruschetta?

Tomatoes are to Michael and pumpkins are to me. It looks like my Giant Valentines (one of my two varieties of hybrids) are beating my Stupice in the race to be adored by him first. Granted, I think my raspberries will be the first to bare fruit. We are both cool with that though.

In fact, we are cool with everything in the garden overwhelming us with bounty. If there is too much for us to eat fresh it will just go in the freezer, in a canning jar, in the dehydrator, to Second Harvest or shared with friends (preferable all of the above.)

“And we who listen to the stars, or walk the dusty grade
Or break the very atoms down to see how they are made,
Or study cells, or living things, seek truth with open hand.
The profoundest act of worship is to try to understand.”

– “The Word of God” by Catherine Faber

Until now we have used 2 24″ pressure mounted baby gates (the standard inexpensive ones) on either end of our hallway to keep Damian off the basement steps. Not only are they very steep but they are also open with only one railing (which is out of Damian’s reach.) However Damian is tall for his age and a climber so the low gates are no longer a valid safety option.

Cue the Summer Infant - Sure & Secure Extra Tall Walk-Thru Gate, which we purchased for about $60 at K-Mart. It is a 3 foot tall metal pressure gate that comes with mounting hardware. It is important to mount gates at the top of stairs as pressure gates can slide against walls, creating a big safety issue. The Summer Infant gate has a child-locked walk-thru door too so that you don’t have to be an Olympian gymnast to get down the stairs. Since this gate is both a pressure and mounted one is has a very short bar across the bottom that you have to step over, but that hasn’t been an issue for me. Just use a bit of caution.

This gate should fit any opening between 28″ and 47.5″ and has two extension panels which allow for this. However if you door frame falls between a 1/2″ measurement between each extension piece (32.5″ to 33″, 37.5″ to 38″, and 42.5″ to 43″) it won’t fit without a little modification. In other words it will become an enormous pain to install. Our home is old and the basement door frame is slightly crooked. The bottom of the door falls between 32.5″ and 33″ and therefor just barely too small to fit an extension piece. We fixed this by using an narrow inch thick strip of wood along one side of the door frame, we then used 2″ screws (rather then the 1″ screws included with the mounting hardware) to mount that side of the gate (see right photo above.) Still, if your opening falls in those ranges and you do not have a garage full of miscellaneous wood or the handyman skills, do not buy this gate.

As for what I like about the Summer Infant gate. The gate only swings one way, so that you can install it so that it does not swing above the stairs. The child-lock is well designed but still easy for an adult to operate. The gate itself is metal and seems very sturdy and durable. I don’t see myself replacing it or having any parts failing for a long time (knock on wood!) It is also 3 feet tall which is daunting for Damian but not so overwhelming that Aos cannot jump over it. (If you have a disable, older or obese cat I can see where it’s height might have an issue for the stairs.) With a permanent gate at the top of the stairs I no longer have to constantly trip over step over the two shorter gates in the hallway too, and Damian enjoys doing the house loop now as well!

Would I recommend the gate? I added another one to the baby registry for the deck stairs so I obviously like it, but if your child is average height and not a climber, it is probably not necessary. There are cheaper shorter mounted gates out there. However if you have a toddler who is a climber and tall for his or her age, as well as a set of dangerous stairs, then I would go as far to say a tall gate is not only useful, but necessary. I think the Summer Infant - Sure & Secure Extra Tall Walk-Thru Gate fits the bill fantastically well.

When bees hum in the linden tree
and roses bloom in cottage plots.
Along the brookside banks we see
the blue wild forget-me-nots.
– Patience Strong

I spotted this lovely little thing was growing in the sandy gravel at the edge of Priest Lake. I am not sure what it is, but I think it is Forget-Me-Nots are just beautiful.

On Friday Michael and I took Damian up there for the first time. Not to camp, but just for a nice dinner picnic with his family. We drove through quite a few rain showers on our way, but it was beautiful for the whole evening once we arrived. My father-in-law, Greg, grilled up steak for dinner and my mother-in-law, Kim, made her wonderful potato salad. Damian had lots of fun hanging out with his cousin Emily and running around like the crazy nature loving maniac he is.

I think it is so important for children to spend time as possible outside. Damian and I hang out in the backyard, go on walks and play in the park several times a week (if not every day.) Damian adores the outdoors, it fills him with more life, smiles and laughter then anything on the tube ever could. It also wears him out more and makes for longer naps, which I love (does that sound horrible?) since they give me time to blog!

So what is my favorite part of Willow Bay? I love it all but if I had to pick one thing, it would be all the colorful birdhouses. There are three of four of them on almost every tree along the main path. It looks like children painted most of them, which always makes me smiles. I think Damian will like projects like that when he is older. This is my favorite grouping of birdhouses (probably because of the sign):

Michael has the next few days at work, so you can probably expect another nature loving post soon as we are going to the annual Pagan Campout at Priest Lake this weekend. I am almost finished a garden update too (everything growing so fast!) but I have to wait for the rain to let up to grab some new photos. Oh and as always you can find more photos from our evening at Willow Bay in our photo gallery.

This weekend was very busy for us. After Michael came home from work on Friday, we turned around and left to take Damian to his one year check up. He is doing fantastically well. Dr. Kincaid was amazed by his height, how well he is walking and all those teeth.

I’d like to say I was totally present at the checkup but I was a bit out of it since I had a migraine. I would just like to say that there is a difference between a headache and a migraine. When I say I have a migraine it means that bright light and noise causes pain so intense that I vomit continuously. I have gotten then for as long as I can remember but I know most of my triggers so I can prevent or at least reduce the intensity of most of them. However I cannot avoid them at three times, when I menstruate, when I ovulate and, apparently, when I am in my first trimester of pregnancy. I had them with Damian and now I have them again. I have been getting them one to three times a week (or rather once a week for three days in a row…) I cannot take any medication that would take the edge off since I am pregnant. However, I have discovered relief. Obey the Cravings. If I obey my cravings 80% of the time they go away.

So after the doctor, Michael took me to Panda Express (Chinese fast food place) since I was craving white rice and steamed veggies. You would think I would have eaten rice and veggies on Wednesday when the migraine began to manifest but I guess the cure just seems so ridiculous to me that I always think it won’t work (last time the “cure” was Dick’s hamburger and fries. Mmmm healthy…) Anyhow the migraine was gone before I finished eating, leaving me with just a blissful (and I mean that) headache.

So then we came home, and since I was feeling all renewed, we tossed some stuff in the van, turn around and drove out to Willow Bay for a second dinner of steak and potato salad with Michael’s of the family. (I am going to blog about that separately so I can profess my deep love for getting out of town and pretty bird houses.) But I wanted to answer my Aunt Ruth’s question. I throughly enjoy summer picnics with family, we actually do a potluck on the third Sunday of every month with Michael’s side so that we don’t fall out of touch. I do think those type of events seem to be falling out of favor with my generation though, maybe in favor of the thing we did on Sunday, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

On Saturday we shopped, and then shopped some more and then shopped… We are going to a big three day campout next weekend so we had to pick up everything we needed for that and did our monthly Costco trip. We also stopped at Michael’s work and bought a 14 count case of organic broccoli, a 10lbs box of local organic snap peas and a 25lbs box of rainbow rotini (pasta salad season!)

On Sunday we ended up running out for a few more things and I processed the aforementioned case of broccoli for freezing. (My feet hurt.) And then went to see more “family” since Andrea and Peter invited several of our friends over for dinner. Homemade gnocchis, strawberry rhubarb pie, fruit salad… Yummy! I brought broccoli (surprise!) and carrot salad. Did I mention that there was pie?

So now I want to add on to my answer to my aunt’s question. I think staying connected to family is important, but I also think, as far as my generation is concerned, the term family has grown beyond biological (enough so that there is the newer term out there combining friends and family, “framily”.) I know that I do the things with my “framily” that I would do with family. We go on picnics, meet up several times a month, go on camping trips, have potlucks, share some holidays together… Our closest friends are Aunts and Uncles to Damian rather then just our friends.

I enjoy family and framily gatherings, but I do think the generational family gatherings are falling out of favor these days in favor of “framily” gatherings. I can see why some people have drifted with family gatherings, you can chose your friends but you cannot chose your family. In a lot of ways it is often easier to be who you are and find acceptance among like-minded friends rather then family that might have preconceived notions of you formed during your youth. However, I think we forget that even though families have their own squabbles, that there is a unique kind of love that can only come from those you were surrounded by growing up. There is a whole set of learning experiences stems from interacting with family. We have to understand where we came from to know where we are going. At the end of the day there is room in my life for family and framily and I deeply love and enjoy both.

Almost everyone I know came, Cheyenne, Caswallon, Ileen, Michelle, Mikcos, Nathan, Ben, Laurie, Peter, Andrea, Ariella, Lydia, Grandpa and Grandma Stewart, Ginanne, Jordan and Emily. We had a big barbecue with hotdogs, hamburgers and corn-on-the-cob, Mommy is the grill master!

Afterwards we did my presents! I received spiritual gifts from almost everyone for my altar as well as a whispered blessing (they all made me smile!) I received a cool dragon tealight holder and yellow stone egg from Michelle, Mikcos and Nathan; color runes from Cheyenne (these are wooden disks she painted with colors and put in a red bag, so pretty!); an awesome piece of obsidian from Peter and Andrea; a spider plant in a RED (can you tell I like that color?) pot from Laurie and Ben; a shiny CTR dogtag from Ginanne, Jordan and Emily; and really pretty book from Grandma and Grandpa Stewart, Ariella and Lydia. They also gave me an outfit and super cool wooden building blocks. All of these gifts were in a big shiny RED radio flyer wagon from Grandpa Tolman.

After presents came my cake! Mommy made me an whole-wheat applesauce cake shaped like the moon. It looked awesome and tasted even better! I think Mommy actually thought I was going to stay clean for a minute, but nooo, people need the grubby cake photo, so I was happy to oblige.

My birthday was so fun! I had a wonderful time, I can’t wait till my next year! (And there are lots more photos from my party here.)

We love you so much and are so proud of you! You will always be our little superman.

Birthday preparations aside, I still need to wash diapers today. I need to wash diapers every day. 365 days of diapers. One and five are poopy. Damian eats solids now so his poop is so colorful sometimes I wonder if it could be used for some kind of divination technique. Not to mention the smell after certain food groups, wow that can be mind altering all on its own. Morning sickness and poop do not mesh well. My washer and drier are my basement god and goddess, is that weird?

Oh, were you eating lunch? I’m sorry.

Seriously though, I am still glad we cloth diaper and you really do get use to the poppy diapers. And really if that is the only thing keeping you from cloth diapering, then you are in for a shock, because you will get it on you whether you use disposables or cloth. Since my initially post all those months ago about our choice to go with cloth we have had to buy new ones once, in the next size up. In the 0-15 pound prefold size we purchased 36, but in the 15 to 30 pound size we only bought 18. In retrospect, I wish we would have gotten more, maybe 24, so I didn’t have to do laundry quite so frequently.

This week we ordered 18 bumGenius all-in-one diapers, which are basically a super pimped out version of the cloth diaper. No pins/snappies, no prefolds and covers, these bad boys look and work pretty much like a disposable. Very user-friendly. However at 15 bucks a pop, they are by no means cheap (prefolds are about $1.50 in comparison) making them the most expensive thing my child will ever have the pleasure of pooping in. *knocks on wood and hides her cashmere shawl* We decided on the bumGenius all-in-ones for two reasons, we needed more diapers anyways, especially since we will be going camping for three days during summer solstice and we have a child who thinks diapers are the devil and will fight tooth and nail through a diaper change. bumGeniuses go on and come off very easily, you can even change a diaper with the baby standing, which honestly sounds as close to sweet victory as I am going to get. Besides, you can get orange ones too, how cool is that?

I didn’t just say bad boys when referring to diapers in the last paragraph did I? Oh goddess…

Have we used disposables too? Yes, three times. When he was first born because a newborn’s first bowel movements (called meconium) look and feel like stick tar, when we moved and did not have access to a washer and drier and when him and I have the flu. I could not handle the smell of diarrhea at all, so we used pampers until that cleared up. Disposables definitely still have their place in my world.

Will we be cloth diapering the new baby? Definitely! It is so much easier then I initially thought it would be, even with the current diaper battles. Damian’s old diapers are still in great condition (the ones he is in now are a little worn from walking but should last as well, especially with 18 more on the way.) Having our own washer and drier is an enormous blessing, if we had to share ones (as with many apartments) we probably would not cloth diapers, or we would use a diaper service.

But what about EC you ask? For the new to my blog, EC (elimination communication/infant potty training) is learning your baby’s cues from birth for the bathroom and then taking him to it. We still do EC. I catch about 25% to 50% of his cues on any given day, he always uses the potty in the morning and after naps and will usually hold it until someone helps him onto the potty. He almost never goes in his diaper when we are out or at night anymore. EC was much easier before he started walking but now that he is almost tall enough to get on his little potty by himself, I am hoping he will start to show interest in doing so. We will see. For anyone considering EC for their baby, it takes a lot of dedication, but I still feel it has been worth it.

Speaking of Damian, he hear him waking from his nap, so to the potty we go! And then to vacuum, and finish the dishes and scrub the deck, and walk the plank… Have a great day!

Our choice to bed-share with Damian is probably the parenting practice I talk the least about. I have always felt that more families in this country bed-share then statics illustrate (even if they didn’t set out to do so,) especially when the mother breastfeeds, but that the societal taboo regarding it keeps them all but silent too.

Bed-sharing (also called the family bed or co-sleeping) is a practice in which children sleep with one or both parents, as opposed to being in a crib. According to wikipedia, it has been widely practiced historically and is still standard practice in many parts of the world, and is practiced by a significant minority in countries where infant beds are also used.

Why did we chose to bed-share? The reason at the very top of that list would be breastfeeding. Damian falls asleep at the breast and is difficult to move, when I lay down to feed him, I often fall asleep too. Seems like a match made in heaven doesn’t it? It became so natural to breastfeed at night that Damian quit waking up to find a breast, which was really nice (not having to sooth a baby back to sleep.)

The number one question I am asked regarding bed-sharing is if I have ever worried about crushing/suffocating/otherwise maiming Damian in my sleep. The first night we brought him home I did, but I haven’t since. Honestly, there has never been a time when something even scared me about Damian laying between Michael and I. Normally Damian and I sleep on our sides, facing each other. His head rests on my elbow so that my arm very naturally wraps around cradles him in his sleep. When I roll over (if he needs to switch sides to eat) I hold him lightly to my chest and the transition is easy, not even waking him up. If his breathing changes at night or he fusses even a tiny amount for any reason I instantly wake up. I don’t think any of those indicates I am a light sleeper or hypersensitive, they are just instincts I naturally have as a mother. I don’t worry about Michael either, he has the his own protective Daddy instincts.

It is important that bed-sharing bed done properly though. I say properly because people often tell me bed-sharing horror stories when they find out we do about the death of a child because of bed-sharing. Not surprisingly these stories seem to always involve a parenting on drugs or who is drunk or one who has health problem (sleep apnea for example.) Getting drunk or high and passing out on your baby is not bed-sharing, it is child abuse.

I am also asked if I worry about him being co-dependent. While my proof is anecdotal, Damian is a very independent one-year-old, so I really have no worries. There is some research that has been done that seems to show there are actually quite a few benefits to bed-sharing. Since I am not here to talk to into doing it, I’ll just link anyone interested to an article about bed-sharing and the research that has been done.

People also ask me if Michael and my intimacy took a hit since we bed-share. (Dad, skip this paragraph unless you want to be mentally scarred again.) Yes, it took some adjustment. Yes, we have sex less. But people, you can have sex in other places then a bed and just because you bed-share does not mean a baby cannot be laid down elsewhere for a short nap. So yes, sex takes more planning, but I am pregnant again so obviously something happened. I hear couples who use cribs talk about a decline in sexual activity too, so I don’t think it is really as big an issue as it seems. Where there is a will, there is a way, right?

How long will we bed-share? Michael and I actually bought Damian a toddler bed four days ago. We knew that we did not want to move him to a crib, so Michael and I decided to waited until Damian was completely competent at getting in and out of our bed (which he has been for about a month.) We didn’t want to rush him into his own room, so his new bed is currently between the wall and my side of the bed (see thumbnail, his Grandma Stewart made that quilt by the way!) Damian has been taking his nap in it and I lay him down after his night feeding for bed time. He doesn’t stay in it all night yet, and I am not forcing him to, but every night he stays in it a little bit longer. (I am a big fan of gradual transitions.) If I was not pregnant, I would probably let him bed-share longer, but I want him to be well adjusted to sleeping on his own well before the new baby arrives so that the does not feel that he is being evicted and replaced.

I want to re-emphasize, bed-sharing is definitely not for everyone. Just like our other parenting decisions, the key to making bed-sharing work is that Michael and I decided on it together while looking at the needs of our child. Both of us like bed-sharing and neither of us get high, drunk or have medical conditions that impact our sleeping habits. Ultimately we made a choice that we felt was the healthiest for Damian and in the end that is all that matters to us.

I know that most of you probably already suspected or knew that. For those who visit my site, Michael enabled the counter and registry in the right hand tool bar when the home test came up positive. I didn’t want to announce till after the first appointment though, and not on Damian’s birthday. That is his big day, this Saturday!

So the details… I am about 8 weeks along, my due date is January 6th. How much do you want to bet I will go into labor on my birthday (January 9th?) Michael is hoping for December 31st though, that way we get the tax stuff that comes with a baby for 2009, hehe. In the end, we just want another healthy baby (and preferably just one, too many dreams of twins flying around for my liking.) Our little family is growing!

Damian is going to be a big brother!

The neighbors dog ran in my yard this morning and one of the adult crows chased him off. The pair also chased off a stray cat and some sparrows. They didn’t seem to care about me being out there with my camera though. I assume the bird fell higher in the tree. There is a big tangled mass of sticks higher up (if that is a nest it is the messiest I’ve ever seen) in it. When one crow is off finding food the other is standing guard up there though.

I don’t think there is anything I can do, but I am curious about what will happen to the little guy. Did he flunk out of flying school or just get too adventurous near the edge of the nest? I know I have bird connoisseurs who read this blog, what do you think?

What will happen, will happen but I admit, a needy cousin of one of my totems (raven) speaks deeply to my mothering heart and makes me ponder deeper spiritual meanings. Especially now.

Warning: Do Not Get Your Panties In A Knot If You Are A Working Mother. I Have Nothing Against You, Your Child(ren), Or Your Decision. I Am Sure You Are A Wonderful Mother. The Following Post Are Simply MY PERSONAL Reasons For Making A Different (not wrong, but different!) Choice.

Seriously, to be or not to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mother) is a hot topic in the mommy communities, sometimes the debate gets downright vulgar. I have been told more then once that I am a disgrace to the feminist movement and setting “the cause” back decades by being a stay-at-home mother. I hope that most working mothers do not feel this way, I definitely don’t think that working women are inferior. Can’t we all just get along? Anyhow…

Several factors contributed to my choice to be a stay-at-home mother. What was my husband’s opinion? Was it financially feasible? What did I want from my life?

Michael would have supported me either way but in the end, I feel he is content with my decision. Both his an my mother stayed at home, some one could argue it was only a natural decision for us to make. I think it is more then that though. As far as some are concerned, staying at home makes me a doormat. I am certainly not a doormat at the beck and call of some man who lords over me as though I am property. Michael and I make a great team, we are lord and lady of this household and share in it duties. Sure, I do more housework, but then he goes to work everyday and does money generating work. I say it is a fair trade-off. My mother or my mother-in-law fall into the doormat category for that matter.

Financially, it actually made more sense for me not to be employed. Since I lack a college education, my entire wage would have gone towards childcare anyways, which seemed pretty pointless. Besides, to be honest, I really do not like working for someone else. At home, I am mistress of my domain, which is really pretty sweet. Sometimes I do miss the social interaction that comes with service industry jobs, but then I remember the enormous amount of people who were rude to me. At least I only have one person throwing food at me now, and he is a heck of a lot cuter (and doesn’t drink hot coffee…) In the end I could always join a parenting group or walk to the park if I need to find someone to chat with, or call one of my friends of course.

I suppose in giving up a job I am giving up a certain amount of “Me” time. During a workday (lunch hour, breaks, on the way to and from work) I could grab that haircut or do those little errands that are way more challenging as a stay-at-home mom, but it does all balances it out in the end. Michael gives me little Mommy Time so that I can grab that soaking bath, or weed the garden, or whatever I need to do to center myself. Damian and him had a guys afternoon a month ago so that I could go buy some clothes with my friends which was wonderful. Sometimes I spend Damian’s nap time working on a personal project (like knitting, drawing mandalas or blogging.) Yes, it is harder to find me time, but I have also found that it is less important then I initially anticipated too.

What do I want from life? This is the trickiest question of the lot. I want to be happy of course, but what does that mean for me? Can happiness be found at work, going back to college to learn a new skill, dedicating my entire day and night to the nurturing of a child? Seriously, all of those have their pros and cons, but I chose to stay home because the thought of leaving my child with someone every day was just to heart wrenching for me to contemplate. I don’t want to miss one milestone, not the first smile, the first step, the first word, even the first big bump and bruise. I want to be the one to kiss those young and tender hurts away and cheer on the accomplishments. Is that selfish? Maybe. Does it make me happy? Usually. Is Damian happy? I think so. I feel I am fulfilling his needs the best I can because of my decision to stay home, and that makes me truly happy.

There use to be a commercial on tv that said “having a baby changes everything” and I didn’t realize how true that was until we brought Damian home. No transition that big is easy, choosing to stay at home or not is only one aspect of the many choices that factor into life-after-labor. There have been moments where I have wanted to throw a mommy tantrum and run screaming from the house to find “real people” to talk to, but truly, those moments have been few and far between. I feel really blessed that I have been able to chose this life. I feel like I am where I suppose to be and I think that ultimately that is really what matters.

Initially, breastfeeding was a lot more difficult then I thought it would be. I have flat nipples for starters, which while not detrimental to the newborn, is a little confusing when they first seek nourishment with the instinct to find something that sticks out, only to find a completely smooth breast.

For the first couple days I tried nipple shields, which basically are fake nipple that goes over top of your real ones to give the baby a target to suck on. They also pull your own nipple out, the way it is suppose to be (which, when done enough times, they start to stay that way.) I can honestly say that nipple shields were the second most painful event in the nursing experience. Can you say blood blisters? One afternoon I just threw them out and gave Damian a shot at the breast straight up. After some momentary frustration, he figured it out. Thank the goddess! He quickly adapted the the unusual nipple shape and after a few weeks my nipples pretty much looked like any other woman’s anyways.

Then it was all good! Or not.

When I gave birth I had a yeast infection, not the end of the world right? I am prone to them and beyond my usual struggles with my vaginal flora I didn’t think too much of it. Apparently though, when you push a baby out that particular opening, the yeast catch a ride sometimes. After a few weeks of doing whatever evil little yeasts do, they turn into this thing called Thrush, basically a yeast infection in the baby’s mouth. It looks like some has coated then inside of your baby’s mouth with cottage cheese and it won’t rub off. As awful as that sounds it is not the end of the world, it isn’t really even for the baby most of the time, Damian didn’t seem to be bothered buy it. The bad thing about thrush and breastfeeding is that the baby can pass it back to you and then you get a yeast infection in your breasts. This is what makes blood blisters from nipple shields seem like a walk in the park. This was the most painful thing that happened while breastfeeding. It was as through my breasts were on fire and I would just cry (which is not something I do often, no matter the pain.) I almost gave in at this point.

I didn’t though and we treated it, not with the usual antifungal medication though, which we chose a more naturopathic method and just made a poor environment for thrush to thrive. The yeast that gives you an infection thrives on three things dark, damn and sugar. So I stopped eating so much fruit for a few days (I adore grapes,) let the girls air out by a sunny window for awhile and applied a very weak boric acid solution to my nipples and Damian’s mouth before and after every feeding. I also started probiotics. The thrush starting going away the first day we started treatment (ahhhh) and we stopped treatment after two weeks. Haven’t had a problem since.

Of course there have been other problems, but all relatively minor in comparison. My nipples dried out from all that constant attention from Damian and were sore and cracked, but Lanolin came to my rescue, which is a bi-product of wool. Seriously, if you intend on breastfeeding any buy nothing else to help you, buy Lanolin. I now consider the sheep a sacred animal for this beautiful product they provide, hehe! After a couple months my nipples were well trained warriors and I didn’t need it anymore.

The only other item I would recommend to a stay-at-home mother, that I have used, is a really comfortable nursing bras for sleeping (I use the Medela Comfort Nursing Bra) and nursing tank tops (I love the Gilligan & O’Malley Nursing Tank Top.) Remember, the girls will grow. Exponentially. I was a 38 B when I conceived and when my milk came in, I was a 40 DD. That is an extra large Medela bra and a L Gilligan tank top. I would recommend a cheap bra till your breasts figure out where they want to be. I bought mine after a week, and NO UNDERWIRE at first, that would be the shortcut to clogging a duct, ow. I wear my tank tops every day and I find the built in bra gives me enough support but you can double it up with another nursing bra. Just remember that breastmilk stains yellow and that cloth breastpads, never used disposables, can show through lighter colored tanks (so I pretty much only use my white one for layering under another shirt.) Why do I love nursing tank tops so much because when you breastfeed in the winter it is nice to have your midsection protected from the elements and in the summer it is nice to just be able to wear one layer to stay cool. If modesty is important to you, they have that going for them too.

What else… Bitting, everyone always asks me about bitting. Or they say, “if my child bit me I would stop breastfeeding that day!” Yes, Damian bit, but the warrior nipples endured. Every time he bit I would unlatch him and give him a teething ring. He learned really quickly that bitting meant no milk and in his world, no milk is bad! Consistency was the key there and when he did bite I always did the same thing and told myself that teething is hard on him too. My own wisdom teeth were breaking through at the time so I could almost relate, I joked about sharing the teething ring with Damian.

Would I change anything next time? Some people ask me if I would ever supplement with formula. Never. Some people ask me if I would schedule feedings. Also never. Both impact your supply, when you supplement with formula your breasts don’t know how much to make and decrease production, when you schedule it has the same effect and besides, young babies do not understand timetables, they only understand their need. It is your duty as a parent to fulfill that need until they are old enough to understand otherwise.

I would change one thing though. Next time I will buy a manual breastpump. Since I am a stay-at-home mother there is pretty much no point for me to invest in some hemi-powered roaring double breasted super soaker milking machine (that might be an over-exaggeration) since I will be feeding at the breast 99% of the time since that is still better then expressed milk in a bottle (and seriously washing bottles sucks, pardon the pun.) It would be nice though, after the nipple confusion stage has passed to sleep in occasionally and have Daddy do a bottle, or when the baby is older, to have a friend stay with him or her for a couple hours while Michael and I go out, secure in the fact I have left my precious one with the very best food possible.

Ultimately when breastfeeding I think the most important thing to remember is that laughter is vital. Things will happen that will be embarrassing. If you use a cover (Damian never would) your baby will pull it off him or herself, unlatching at the same time exposing you for the whole mall to see. Before your breasts have the whole production and flow thing under control you will forget your breastpads, even if only for a minute, and leak through onto your favorite shirt. Someone will try to give you advice when you nurse in public (and it is such a pain to make them go away.) As your child gets more grabby he will try to pull off your nursing bra when hungry in the most public situation possible. It’s okay though, just laugh, you are a new mom and anyone who does not understand is really not worth your time are they? Especially since time is now at a premium. Besides, when you are feeding your beautiful baby in a way that only your body can, and you get that huge rush of happy bonding hormones, and he looks up and you with the most gorgeous eyes in the world, you will know it is worth it.

EXHIBIT B:

Air intake vent for central air. It doesn’t open (the wall is conveniently built over it) and has one inch holes.

Guess where everything Damian could find that is an inch or less in diameter can be found? Art markers, nail clippers, Damian’s toothbrush, two sticks, Cheerios, paper, my brain, three spoons… Obviously the answer to preventing this is to never let anything smaller then an inch touch the floor (haha!) But the question of the hour is how do I get the stuff down there out?

Ideas?

Naturally we are having a birthday party. It is proving a little more stressful then I anticipated. We have requested, as always, no plastic toys. Yes, Damian does have a select few plastic outdoor toys, but just because he has those is not a green light for him to have a ton more. He doesn’t need millions of toys to start with. I have had three people ask me why wood (or other natural materials) over plastic, and I do not mind explaining that. What I do mind is the one who suggest that I was being stupid by putting rules like that on gifts. Well, I’m sorry if it inconveniences you that I feel the need to protect my child’s developing brain and body from harmful chemicals; cadmium (a carcinogenic pigments used in some plastic and paint) and polyvinyl chloride (found in vinyl and pvc and linked to birth defects as well as other things) come to mind. Not the mention plastic toys will pretty much never ever decay, which is kind of funny because they are the first ones to break. And it is not like that are hard to find, Amazon, Babies”R”Us and even Walmart carry a selection of toys made of natural material which are really no more expensive then a sturdy plastic toy.

Hmmm, I didn’t mean to rant. I do understand I cannot protect Damian from ever hazard life throws his way. Nor, I suppose, should I, but I can protect him from what I consider basic dangers and I do not see why that is so hard for some people to respect. Just like people who are suggesting I wean him now. Without going into the proven benefits of extended breastfeeding that is absolutely none of their business anyways.

Gah, okay, no more ranty bitchiness. Moving on…

As long as the weather holds true we will be having a barbeque for his birthday, as well as a small blessing ritual and, of course, a cake (I am thinking a whole-wheat applesauce cake since Damian loves that.) We still have to figure out our gift for him too. I think the first birthday is almost more to celebrate that the parents made it through the first year and to thank all those who helped them through it. Almost. Either way it is good practice for when the day when rampaging minion-filled parties arrive isn’t it? (Ack!) It’s all good though, and honestly I am really looking forward to celebrating such a big milestone in Damian’s life.

And the big question of this post, a candle on the cake or not? Damian doesn’t know how to blow out one and will probably grab at it, and yet a candleless cake just seems so very weird. What do you think?

I am 5′4″ or shorter
I think I’m ugly
I think I am beautiful
I have many scars
I tan easily
I wish my hair was a different color
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have a tattoo
I am self-conscious about my appearance
I have/I’ve had braces
I wear glasses
I’d get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger
I have more than 2 piercings
I have piercings in places besides my ears
I have freckles
I’ve sworn at my parents
My biological parents are together
I have a sibling less than one year old
I want to have kids someday (want more)
I have children
I’ve lost a child
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation
Disney movies still make me cry
I’ve snorted while laughing
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried
I’ve glued my hand to something
I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
I’ve had my pants rip in public
I was born with a disease/impairment (does dyslexia count?)
I’ve had stitches
I’ve broken a bone
I’ve had my tonsils removed
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed
I had a serious surgery
I’ve had chicken pox
I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day (Michael drove, I don’t)
I’ve been on a plane
I’ve been to Canada (born there…)
I’ve been to Niagara Falls
I’ve been to Japan
I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
I’ve been to Europe (lived there…)
I’ve been to Africa
I’ve been to France (lived there… does France not count as Europe to the meme maker?)
I’ve been lost in my city
I’ve seen a shooting star
I’ve wished on a shooting star
I’ve seen a meteor shower
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator
I’ve been to a casino (never gambled though)
I’ve been skydiving
I’ve gone skinny dipping
I’ve played spin the bottle
I’ve crashed a car (I wouldn’t say crashed, it was more the ditch attacking me…)
I’ve been skiing
I’ve been in a play
I’ve met someone in person from the internet (married him too)
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue
I’ve seen the Northern Lights
I’ve sat on a roof top at night
I’ve played chicken
I’ve played a prank on someone
I’ve ridden in a taxi
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
I’ve eaten Sushi
I’ve been snowboarding
I’m single
I’m in a relationship
I’m available
I’m engaged
I’m married
I’ve gone on a blind date
I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper
I miss someone right now
I have a fear of abandonment
I’ve been divorced
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did
I’ve kept something from a past relationship
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same gender sex
I’ve kissed a member of the same gender
I’ve had sex with someone of the opposite gender sex
I’ve had sex with someone of the same gender
I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time
I am a cuddler
I’ve been kissed in the rain
I’ve had sex outdoors
I’ve hugged a stranger
I have kissed a stranger
I have had sex with a stranger
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t
I have lied to my parents about where I am
I am keeping a secret from the world
I’ve cheated while playing a game
I’ve cheated on a test
I’ve run a red light
I’ve been suspended from school
I’ve witnessed a crime
I’ve been in a fist fight
I’ve shoplifted
I’ve consumed alcohol
I’ve smoked cigarettes
I’ve smoked pot
I regularly drink
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them
I’ve been addicted to an illegal substance
I take cough meds when I’m not sick
I can’t swallow pills
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
I have been diagnosed with depression
I shut others out when I’m depressed
I take anti-depressants
I have an eating disorder
I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it
I’ve hurt myself on purpose
I’m addicted to self harm
I’ve woken up crying
I’m afraid of dying
I hate funerals
I’ve seen someone dying
Someone close to me has attempted suicide
Someone close to me has committed suicide
I can sing well
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant
I open up to others too easily
I don’t kill bugs
I curse regularly
I sing in the shower
I am a morning person
I paid for my cell phone ring tone
I’m a snob about grammar
I am a sports fanatic
I play with my hair
I have/had “x”s in my screen name
I love being neat
I’ve copied more than 30 CDs in a day
I bake well
My favorite color is either yellow, pink, red or blue
I don’t know how to shoot a gun
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
I laugh at my own jokes
I eat fast food weekly
I believe in ghosts
I am online 24/7, even as an away message
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room
I am really ticklish
I love white chocolate
I bite my nails
I play video games
I’m good at remembering faces
I’m good at remembering names
I’m good at remembering dates
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

One of the exceedingly abundant black and white cats in our neighborhood.

The gardener in me cringes somewhat at spring in Spokane but the dirty worshipping witch in me dances in the rain, laughs into the wind and basks in the radiant sun (all in the space of an hour mind you.) Soon enough summer will be here and the gardener will be appeased with zucchini, tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans and more though.

This weekend we will be camping with friends, assuming all of the Stewart household are healthy (Damian just healed from a head cold and so far Michael and I seem to have been mostly spared.) The forecast for Utopialaughastan* is expected to be 80°F and sunny so hopefully that will banish any remaining vestiges of illness on our part. With fingers crossed for good health, I can’t wait!

I placed the boxes around each transplant and filled them loosely with shredded newspaper to keep my tender green babies insulated. I find this method works well, I can store the boxes the next morning and either spread the shreddings around like mulch (they break down very quickly) or toss them in the compost as brown material.

On a seperate matter I am still working on a name for our little rented homestead. I want it to be something simple that reflects our beliefs without being horribly cliche. The hard part is finding just the right combination of words that reflects our little family. Small Steps Stead was an early though (reflecting children as well as our small steps towards a more eco-conscious life as well as owning a some land outside the city) but I don’t know…

Does your home, farm, ranch or even apartment have a name? How did it come to be?

I transplanted 3 black beauty zucchini because I am a sucker for punishment, 5 sugar pie pumpkins because I adore giant orange things, cilantro and red onions and yellow onions. I also have purple haze carrots and mammoth dill directly sown and hopefully working towards giving me an abundant crop.

On Friday we had some friends over, including the lovely Laurie and Ben. They brought us a couch and several transplants for us. I transplanted the chives, garlic chives, triple curled parsley and tarragon but am waiting another week before I transplant the tomatoes (Giant Valentine, Black Krim, Stupice) and ground cherries. Better safe then sorry, the lemon cucumbers and basil I started will be waiting another week before transplanting as well.

All the seeds I started this year were planted in cardboard egg cartons and so far it seems to have worked pretty well. The roots of the pumpkins were starting to grow through the cardboard, so I didn’t even both removing them from the cups when I transplanted them. I think that they will degraded just fine. If I wanted to grow larger transplants (like if I start my tomatoes indoors next year) they will need to move up to a larger container but for the small starts egg cartons seem to work great.

(Mmmmm tomatoes… Grow my pretties, grow!)

The hardest part about growing your own food is waiting for it to be ready I noticed a few flower buds on the ground cherry transplant this morning and I think that just heightens the anticipation. Come wild plant spirits of my garden, grow!

Sunday was Mother’s Day and Daddy and I hung out lots so that Mommy could make the garden all beautiful. Daddy also cleaned the family room and reorganized the living room. We got an eight foot couch! Mommy and Daddy’s friends Laurie and Ben gave it to use and a huge bean bag chair. The most awesome thing about them is that they are red. Mommy put a blanket over it today but I pulled it off because I like the red better.

Did you know I turn one in less then a month? SO EXCITING!

The last harvest was brought in and winter is past. The Sun god having spent his energies providing the light and warmth needed for crops to flourish hung low over the southern sky. The God was spent and soon died. Mother Earth also labored hard under the sun and needed rest as can be told by the withered grasses and fallen leaves. Gaia curls up in slumber and awaits the day her consort will again return to her while protecting the seeds of life deep within her self. At Yule the new Sun God was born young and strong he was yet too distant to warm the Earth but watches Gaia slumber from afar. The Sun grew and became strong learning of the beauty of the Earth and those lovely creatures upon her. Though tempted by other’s beauty he yearns to be close to Gaia, to reunite with her. Growing ever stronger he circles closer gently warming her till she begins to awaken. Beneath the growing warmth of the Sun Gaia gently pushes the first new plants through the melting snows. Having grown to maturity the Sun encircles Gaia, warming the Earth and fully awakening her. They dance about one another while his passion burns…

This is part of the narration during the Beltane ritual that we attended this past Saturday at Sal and Rusty’s home in Medical Lake. Sal and Rusty reenacted the Sun enticing the Earth to bloom into summer. It was a beautiful rite full of love and a healthy dose of humor at some points! I was very honored to attend and be a part of it (I called water and set up the associated quarter altar.)

Beltane is an ancient Celtic festival celebrated around May 1st that marks the beginning of the pastoral summer season. For our modern day celebration of the rebirth of the warmer weather about 40 or 50 people showed up, which is a fantastic turn out for our area. Beyond the ritual (which included a labyrinth walk and spiral dance) we erected and wove a maypole, built a belfire and of course a huge groaning board feast, drumming, music, divination and as well as the usual camaraderie. Later people jumped the belfire too, in the rain, which was fun to watch.

The Inland Northwest felt as though we had to enjoy all her wonderful aspects throughout the day so we started of with bright warm wonderful sun, then some wild wind, then rain and more rain and finally a bit of clearing before the day was done, followed by more rain.

I don’t think the weather dampened anyone’s spirits though. If anything the success of this ritual makes me look even more forward to the Pagan Campout on summer solstice, though I don’t think I will play such an active role in it. It takes two to take care of a toddling Damian and I know I left Michael hanging a few times. Sometimes it is nice to just sit back and enjoy.

(The grounding labyrinth, walked before the ritual. If you would like to read more about Beltane, I blogged about it a couple years ago. I also have more photos from the day up here.)

I hope everyone had a blessed Beltane full of love, wonder, joy and peace.

On Friday, Michael watched Damian for the afternoon, which allowed me to go shopping with my friends Ileen and Andrea. I now have a pair of jeans that fits properly and is not white (because lets face it white anything and babies do not mix) and a mini skirt. Michael and Damian survived without me.

On Saturday, Michael, Damian, Ileen and I went to the Finch Arboretum for a free composting class. I’d say it was a blast but honestly it was a little boring. Add brown waste to bin, mix in green waste, water, turn, wait, repeat… The vermicomposting station was pretty neat though (composting with worms) and the Finch Arboretum is gorgeous. All wasn’t lost though, friends make even the dullest times better and we all received free compost bins for doing it.

On Sunday we did the usual food shopping and then stopped by Northwest Seed and Pet to pick up compost and topsoil to fill my two raised bed. We also bought nylon netting so I can build trellises for my cukes, beans and tomatoes.

Rained on Monday and it is brutally windy today, so I am confined to indoor tasks. Yay, dirty diaper laundry! Erg, or something like that. As soon as cows stop flying around a nice informative gardening post will happen.

Damian nor I have felt overwhelming fantastic for a couple days, probably swine flu (promised I would try not to joke about that) the bubonic plague. I had to say that somewhere in this post so I could have an excuse to post a plague doctor drawing (not that I collect creepy historical pictures or anything.) Some day I will dress like that for Halloween. Granted if this thing turns into a pandemic, this year might be a poor choice… Still, doesn’t he look so awesome? Reminds me of a raven.

Anyhow. This Saturday we will be out in Medical Lake celebrating Beltane at Sal’s. We will have a ritual (where I will be calling water and setting up the water altar,) a maypole, a spiral dance, drumming, a potluck and just a great time in general. Beltane is one of my very favorite sabbats, the gateway to summer and a celebration of sweet luv. If you are local and interested in going check out the Spokane Pagan’s meetup group.

That’s it for now. Don’t forget to wash your hands.

It’s okay to share, it keeps you humble.

Feeling under the weather today and Damian is napping so I figure this is as good of time as ever to pour some thoughts into a blog post.

I have been considered various options for supporting my climbing plants this summer. Vertical gardening lends itself well to raised beds as it is a fantastic space saver and keeps tender fruit (like tomatoes) from being attacked on the ground.

I have three crops which could use some kind of trellis, heirloom tomatoes (I do not want to stake them and can’t afford large cages), lemon cucumbers, and yard long beans. Initially I was just going to grow the tomatoes on a bamboo trellis (similar is design to this one), let the cucumbers meander across the ground and teepee the beans, but now I am reconsidering a potentially cheaper option that would allow me to grow them all vertically, nylon trellis netting. From the reviews I have read it is sturdy enough to support watermelon vines and it is reusable from year to year. My vertical wood supports to attach the netting would be the larger branches that fell from our Douglas Fir over the winter.) A 5′x60′ roll of netting runs about about $20. So I’m wondering, have any of my readers used the stuff and how? If not how have you managed your climbing veggies in small spaces?

In other garden news, both my raised beds are complete (except for the whole trellis issue) so now I just need to fill them. Hopefully I will be able to pick up a load of compost and soil this weekend and accomplish that, I have carrots to get in the ground afterall. Earlier this week my friend’s father was getting ride of some of his raspberries so am now the proud owner of a dozen or so beautiful raspberry canes which I planted them along the East chain link fence. I am also receiving some onions from my father-in-law this afternoon, I had not planned to grow onions this year but I can’t say no to free plants. Funny how the best laid garden plans are foiled by those last minute arrivals (I am not complaining!) They will just have to go outside the raised beds, along the back fence I think, which means more weeds and grass to demolish.

I have to admit some lesser known part of me relishes the destruction of grass, in some truly bizarre way it makes me feel like I am sticking it to the man… or something like that.

But first, to feel better. And make bread, because I haven’t made any in a week and I want a pbj. And pickles. Seriously, I have this fearsome craving for bread and butter pickles today that demands to be obeyed. Which is truly poor timing since we only have dill pickles (gross) and I am trying not to overspend the budget. Still… WANT!

On an birding side note, I think the ants the birds are eating in my yard are affecting them. Because after they peck some off the ground by the raised beds they jump in the beds and roll around in the dirt, raising quite the little dust cloud. Maybe the ants are biting them? I mean, whatever floats their little birdie boats but its pretty funny to watch.

Happy 26th Birthday Michael! I love you with all my heart.

At some point I saw some of my grandma’s cameos in one of her jewelry boxes and I thought “Wow, those are even cooler then coins!” Not only where they carved in relief but they were also two-toned, usually white on black. My grandma probably noticed by utter fascination and she gave me my first cameo. It had a gold tone pin setting and was a white on peach carving a lady’s head. It has been years since she gave me my first cameo and I still only have a small handful of them (most of which she gave me) but they are not something I see that often. I is also nice having a small, slow growing collections of fantastic pieces with a story.

The photo in this post shows my favorite cameo and my newest one, both from my grandma. The one on at the bottom is pinned on my jean jacket (possibly my most worn and loved jacket for that matter) and it depicts a mermaid waving next to a merchild blowing a horn, I am fairly sure it is white and blue agate, I received it for Christmas a couple years ago. My grandma sent the other one to me this Easter. I need to find a velvet ribbon to thread it on (it is a choker piece as far as I know.) I love the classic white on black woman’s head cameo. Almost all my others are pins, so it is really nice to add one to my collect that has a different use.

Anyhow I just wanted to share my little interest with you. I don’t meet many people who collect cameos so if you are out there, speak up, (and nice to meet you!)

I SEE YOU!

This is the last one I took, as Mommy pried the camera from my sly (she says grubby) little fingers.

To venture for a moment into my natal chart, my sun and moon sign are in Capricorn. I don’t think you can be anymore of a planner then that, except if Mercury was in Capricorn… oh wait, mine is! The Chinese astrology equivalent to Capricorn is the year of the Ox, guess what year I am born in? I’m doomed to be a planner, I’m telling you.

So yes, I am planning my garden and loving it. I have all but busted out the colored pencils. N that planning is a bad thing when it comes to gardening. Planning insures that you get the most out of your space by finding the empty spaces and working out crop succession. My mother, grandmother and uncle sent me some seeds for Easter so my list of plants has expanded. Anything bold is going in the raised beds, italicized ones are going elsewhere.

• Basil, Genovese
• Carrots, Purple Haze
• Cilantro
• Cowpeas, Pink-Eyed Purple Hulled
• Cucumbers, True Lemon
• Ground Cherry transplant (1)
• Leaf Lettuce, mix (2pkg)
• Moonflowers
• Morning Glories
• Pole Beans, Yard Long
• Poppies, Oriental
• Pumpkins, Big Max
• Snap Beans, Empress
• Radicchio
• Sunflowers, Titan
• Tomato transplants (5)
• Violas, Helen Mount
• Zucchini, Black Beauty

This is the scaled chart of my two raised beds:

I decided on a modified square foot gardening system for the raised beds. I got the idea for the chart from the Kitchen Garden Planner on the Gardener’s Supply Company website. Each 4×4 square on my graph paper is 1sqft, as are all the loose pieces that list each of my crops and how many I can grow per square foot. I am not done yet, especially with bed B since I still need to build an A-frame trellis for my heirloom tomatoes, which will affect placement but I’m almost there.

How about you, do you plan your beds? What system do you use?

(Mommy put more photos up here.)

Everyone grew up with their own version of cornbread. When I was little, we lived in North Carolina and it was always cooked in a big ol’ cast iron skillet. I kept the skillet but I use stone ground cornmeal and whole wheat. Mom made it sweet, so this is sweet too.

The weather is still beautiful, but today is probably the last day of that till the middle of next week. We need the rain though. I went ahead and planted some leaf lettuce outside. As long as we don’t go below 28F it should be okay, and if not, I still have a million little seeds. I also started some basil seeds inside.

Speaking of plants, these little things started sprouting by our garage a couple weeks ago. They are on the north side of the garage (shade) and have tuberous roots. I know it is a little early to identify plants, but do these look familiar? I am in zone 5a. I hope they are pretty, right now I am just happy to see something new and green!

I know Windigo could still return but I find myself beginning to wonder when I should consider finding a friend for Aos. He still will wander around in the middle of the day meowing for someone to play with him (and then won’t play with me!) I have been taking him out on his leash every day to acquaint him with the great outdoors, in case he every gets out, or we decide to let him be an indoor/outdoor cat.

On an personal level, Aos has had to make his biggest lifestyle change ever. He now has to clean himself, Windigo use to do it for him. This means he has had to discover the horror of hairball formula. He is not thrilled about it.

Damian either stays on the deck or in his playpen when I am doing yard work. When his playpen is in the yard though, I am finding I need to put a blanket under it to keep him from eating too much dirt. When he becomes determined though, he can push the whole thing off the blanket (and all around the yard in fact) which while frustrating, is extremely cute. I could stake it down I suppose…

…but I would much rather take frequent breaks and sit in there too with a tall glass of lemonade. He even has a little lemonade from time to time. We discuss politics, religion and the flavors of dirt and weeds from around the yard. You know, the usual.

Speaking of weeds, he adores sautéed dandelion greens, and so do I! We made a potato frittata with some this morning, yummy! I will save edible weeds for another post though, the sun is calling and Damian just woke from his nap.