Michael and Jaspenelle

Bridges and Circles

I have recently reconnect with a couple people in my family. It feels really nice to touch base again, because one of these people has been someone I could always talk to about anything without fear of being mocked or the “I’m right and you’re wrong” debate. At the same time, this all is utterly nerve wracking.

You see, a few years ago in my drive to break free from the life I was living, I pretty much perfected a method of burning bridges. So I guess, to a certain degree, I do not feel I deserve their trust again. I’ll also admit that I might be a little wary of hidden agendas, apparently my ability to trust took a hit too. I have changed so much, how much have they changed? Will they still see me the way I once was?

Still, I think it is worth taking the chance. Besides, it is not like I can get dragged into any family disputes anyhow. My nearest family is in Indianapolis (as far as I know.) Most of the rest are in either in Ontario or Mexico. My mother lives in a place in Ontario with little phone or internet access and my father and brother are the furthest. They live in the UAE which is, oh, 12 time zones away (how is tomorrow going Dad?) Ironically I talk to my father most often, since we both have skype now.

The other day it occurred to me, but for a handful of people, I hardly know my family, both my mother and fathers side. On facebook all these people friend me and I know we are related but beyond that I know virtually nothing about them. I suppose this is the sacrifice required for moving around as much as I did as a child. Not that I am complaining! I wouldn’t change my upbringing for the world, it has made me who I am.

Part of my brain says Damian should know his heritage, though I honestly am not sure if he will miss not knowing most of his biological family from my side, growing up I really didn’t miss it (until now.) He definitely does not have a shortage of local family. Most of Michael’s family lives within two or three states of us and his parents and all his siblings are within a couple hours. We also have our “framily” (friends who are like family,) in fact we are going camping with his “Aunt” Shannon and her daughter in a couple weeks. His goddessparents, Michelle and Mikcos are also local. My framily are for the most part also my spiritual circle of friends.

Still, I yearn for the family stories that I can share them with Damian as he grows - my Samhain family stories are woefully few. Honoring the ancestors is a very integral part of my faith, which is funny because I know virtually nothing about mine. I want him to know of the ancestors we set the extra place at the table for.

So I hope bridges can continue to be mended, and perhaps made into circles, so that history and laughter can be shared again (or in many cases, for the first time!)

Pediatrician

You know what is awesome? When the nurse at the pediatrician has to measure me twice because she can’t believe I am so big. I had my two month check up yesterday and they weighed and measured me. I nursed and slept through most of the appointment. Except when she shone a light in my eyes. That was no cool.

We saw my midwife yesterday too for mommy’s last checkup, she said I was big and healthy too. I am 25-inches long and 14lbs 2oz. I am above the 95th percentile for my age. Mommy can’t believe I am already 10 weeks old, she says I am growing too fast, but I can’t help it! I thhink she knows that but sometimes I wonder…

I am starting to spend more time awake now and I love to be entertained. I love making noise, especially while on the potty, my voice echoes in the bathroom. Mommy flies me around the house as Superbaby.

I’ve gained 5lbs 10oz and grown 4-inches in 10 weeks. I am Superbaby.

The Baby Bjorn Potty Chair has arrived!

(and the crowds go wild!)

Or at least… this mommy goes wild!

A potty chair might not seem like a big thing to most of you, but it really is awesome to anyone who ECs their baby.

We currently EC Damian by holding him over the toilet:

Which truly wrecks havoc on your back, arms and knees. Damian is also getting a bit to wiggly to like that position too. The potty chair can be moved around to where ever I want it so these problems no longer exists. It also alleviates our other problem of ECing in public.

Our main problem with ECing Damian is that he now HATES going in his diaper and will try to hold it as long as possible. This is great in its own way of course, it saves us a lot of diapers, however it is not so great when we are out. I refuse to kneel on the floor of a public restroom. (Gross!) So he has to go in his diaper, of course this makes for a rather cranky baby at times. Now that we have the potty chair, we can just bring it with us and EC him in the van. I’ll probably eventually make a bag for it so when we go over to friends I can carry it in with us.

Based on first impressions I like the potty. It seems to support him well with some help (he is not old enough to sit on his own yet) and seems to be the right size for his little tushy with room to grow. It also doesn’t get as cold as a toilet seat either which he appreciates. The white bowl pops out super easily and seems easy to clean. All the seams are smooth so I am not worried about him getting pinched. Damian wasn’t sure what to think at first since he is use to the toilet, but he did end up peeing in it and I am pleased to say the splash guard did its job.

The day has come, my son has a throne of his own!
Now to get him some reading material…

Silly Songs

Daddy says I should share one of the really silly songs Mommy modified for me this morning. Maybe she doesn’t remember the words to the other version… Eitherway it made me giggle and grin lots!

The itsy bitsy baby latched on the boobie spout
Down came the milk and washed the baby out
Sleep hit the baby cus the boob was all drained
Till the itsy bitsy baby latched on the boob again

Annnnyhow.

I get to watch mommy make bread for Lughnasadh from my sling today! I love watching her do everything and I am starting to learn to grab too, sometimes I get frustrated when my body doesn’t work like I want it to.

Mommy says Grandpa Tolman is coming to visit me this weekend so I am going to help her clean the house as well. Does baby drool clean as well as mommy spit? We will find out!

Photos from Manito

This past Saturday, our photographer friend Andrea did some family photos of us in Manito Park. It was really fun. I really love how the photos turned out, Andrea did an excellent job.

We are hoping to get her to take a set every few months for the first year. We are going to be getting prints of a few of our favorites from this shoot. I can’t wait to see them! (and frame and scrapbook them. I have been working on Damian’s “First Year” scrapbook lately.)

This one of us is one of my favorite of the three of us (we are getting a couple extra prints of it for family too.)

These are a few of the others from that day:

(more…)

Baby Sign

I have been working on learning “Baby’s First 100 Signs” in American Sign Language (ASL) from this site. I had read about baby sign language in various places but it wasn’t until it came up in conversation with my friend, Shannon, that I really gave it any serious though. She taught it to her six-year-old sign when she was a baby. Researching it lately it has apparently become quite the fad.

I hate fads. However if there is some validity to this and it will give me an edge in communicating with Damian and prevent a tiny bit of frustration, I am willing to set aside my fad issue for him. Funny how parenthood changes our tolerance levels. So baby sign…

The logic behind baby sign is that an infant develops the fine muscles in their hands before they develop the ones required for speech, this means, theoretically, that they are able to communicate with us (adults) far before they are able to speak. There are studies to show that it does not delay speech either, which was my initial concern. I have spoken to several mothers who taught their infants sign, and it doesn’t seem to be as crazy as I initially thought. When it comes to me investigating if things like this work I look more towards other parents then scientific studies. Experience is an awesome teacher.

To teach Damian sign I must first learn the signs myself and then use them in conjunction with my normal speech. For example if I say mommy, I will make the sign as I say the word. Over time Damian will begin to associate that sign with the word and use it when he wants to. This does make sense I suppose, Damian is already beginning to imitate things that Michael and I do after all, the next step if for him to consciously use them, to communicate.

I am just using basic “need signs” with Damian at the moment. For example, when he starts giving indications that he needs nurse I sign “milk” and then nurse him. Consistency is the key and I sign milk every time I nurse him. So far I only use five signs with him, milk, sleep, diaper, mommy, daddy. I do not want to use too many with him yet because I don’t want to overload him with too many concepts he doesn’t currently need (such as food item names, like apple, since he doesn’t eat them yet.) Still, I am working on learning the 100 basics and am going to start using them with Michael even if Damian isn’t watching, eventually we will begin to use them with him.

So we will see where this experiment goes, at 6 weeks old Damian is not signing yet and probably won’t for several months. If he picks it up, great! If not that is fine too, I will have learned some ASL!

Cloth Diapers

Michael and I have been cloth diapering Damian pretty much since he was born. There are so many advantages to cloth diapering but our original reason for looking into it was cost, beyond that they are the more eco-conscious choice and healthier for the baby.

There are a lot of cloth diapers available on the market today, some make cloth diapers almost as easy as using disposables (all-in-ones.) There is almost a whole subculture out there that revolves around cloth diapers (there is even one type, called GoodMamas that can go for $100+ a piece on ebay. Organic bamboo mumbojumbo…)

If money wasn’t an option I would probably have some all-in-ones for when we are out, but since our original goal was to save money we use prefolds, the “classic” cloth diaper that seems to intimidate so many people. I am really pleased with them though, after you change two or three of them it is super easy. We bought our current diapers from softclothbunz.com and our order was just shy of $200. For that we got:

• 36 prefolds
• 36 washcloths (to use as wipes)
• 4 diaper covers
• 3 snappis (that blue thing holding Damian’s prefold on)
• Biodegradable liner sheets
• 2 large waterproof bags (for the diaper pail)
• 1 small waterproof bag (for the diaper bag)

This gives us enough diapers that we can go a day or two without doing laundry, since I am a stay-at-home mom, doing laundry isn’t really an issue for us. I do it every day as is. Of all the items listed the liners are our splurge and convenience item. Liners are a rectangular sheet that looks and feels a bit like a drier sheet that are placed in the prefold. If the diaper is just peed in they can get tossed in the laundry with the diapers several times before they start to break down (since they are biodegradable.) If the diaper gets pooed in, the liner can be flushed poo and all. They are really convenient for when we are out and I don’t want to rinse the prefold in a public restroom.

$200 might seem like a lot of money but it is quickly made back when you consider a 34-pack of Huggies disposables cost about $16. Michael and I can use 20 diapers in 24 hours that is 140 diapers a week. That is $65 a week! We make back our $200 investment in just over 3 weeks. In a few months we will have to get the next size up of prefolds but it will still end up being way cheaper then disposables. We can also use these diapers on our next kid of course. We alsoEC Damian so that is even more money saved for us.

Cloth diapers are also healthier for the baby. Very few people I know who use them have problems with diaper rash since there are no chemicals in them. Cases of diaper rash are normally solved by changing laundry detergent. Disposables on the other hand usually can contain:

• Sodium Polyacrylate: a chemical that has been linked to allergic reactions and toxic shock syndrome.
• Bleach: one of the byproducts of the bleaching process is a cancer-causing (according to the EPA) chemical called dioxin. Even in the smallest detectable quantities, dioxin can cause liver disease, immune system suppression, and genetic damage in lab animals.
• Not to mention all the reports the FDA has received that show the fragrances in disposables caused headaches, dizziness,rashes, chemical burns, noxious chemical and insecticide odors. As well as Consumer Protection Agency reports of babies pulling disposables apart and putting pieces of plastic into their noses and mouth and choking on tab papers and linings.

Beyond being cost effective, cloth diapers are ecofriendly, even when factoring the water used to wash them. Cloth diapers are reusable and are usually biodegradable. Compare that to the 18 billion disposable diapers America throws out every year. The outer later of disposable diapers is usually a waterproof polypropylene and the inner layer is usually made of wood pulp and sodium polyacrylate. Once at the dump, disposable diapers will not breakdown for several hundred years, not to mention that they are filled with human excrement that can potentially leach into the water supply.

So cost effective, healthier for baby and ecofriendly are a few of the reasons we use cloth diapers. I really hope more parents in my generation choose cloth, even if for no other reason then saving money - which is a big perk in our current economy! Anyhow, my little rambling here might not convince you but I hope it makes you think and leads you to do some research of your own.

Lughnasadh Feast Blessing

I was working on putting all the information I have on Lughnasadh together in an understandable order when I ran across this feast blessing. I have always rather liked it but I have no clue what the original source was. Does anyone recognize it?

Now is the Time of the First Harvest,
When the bounties of Nature give of themselves
So that we may survive
O God of the ripening fields, Lord of the Grain,
Grant me the understanding of Sacrifice
As you prepare to deliver yourself
Under the sickle of the Goddess

And journey to the lands of Eternal Summer
O Goddess of the Dark Moon,
Teach me the secrets of rebirth
as the Sun loses its strength and the nights grow cold.

I partake of the First Harvest,
Mixing its energies with mine
That I may continue my quest
For the starry wisdom of Perfection
O Lady of the Moon and Lord of the Sun,
before Whom the Stars halt their courses,
I offer my thanks
For the continuing Fertility of the Earth.
May the nodding grain loose its seeds
To be buried in the Mother’s breast
Ensuring Rebirth in the Warmth of next Spring.

[EDIT: A commenter informed me that it originally appeared in "Wicca, A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner" by Scott Cunningham.]

My dad will be arriving in Spokane to visit on Lughnasadh, hopefully we won’t scare him too much, hehe.

Some people have asked me if I will be raising Damian in my spiritual path, the answer is yes and no. I have no desire to hide my spirituality with him or exclude him from the traditions Michael and I have formed (such as celebrating the sabbats.) I think family traditions are important and give a child memories to look back on later in life, much the way I fondly look back on Christmas and Easter now.

This will be his first Lughnasadh and he will be present for our celebration of course. As he grows I will explain as much of our beliefs to him as I feel he is ready to absorb. I also intend on teaching him other belief systems as well, and ultimately the choice if what he wishes to practice is his. There is no such thing as too much knowledge. When he is older, if he chooses to continue to follow my path, so be it, if he is called to another, so be it.

Six Week Visit

Damian and I had our six week postpartum visit yesterday. The gap in my abdominal muscles has healed, my uterus is back to its normal size and my tear is mostly healed, she still wants me to wait four more weeks before any… baby creating activities. They want me to come back in a month to check it again and fit me for a diaphragm as well. I feel great and today I fit into my prepregnancy jeans for the first time since giving birth. They are my bloaty pms jeans but I am totally not complaining! I do not know if I will ever fit back into my “skinny jeans”, not because I won’t loose the rest of the baby weight but because I think my hips are permanently wider from carrying Damian.

Damian is doing extremely well. My midwife told me it is great if he has gained 2lbs since birth. He has gone in 8lbs 8oz to 12lbs 4oz, gaining 3lbs12oz! Beth was shocked and really pleased, she says he is the biggest six week baby she has weighed in a long time. She was really impressed that he can hold his head up as well as any 3 month old too. We really do have a super baby.

Tomorrow our photographer friend, Andrea, is going to do family portraits of us in Manito Park. Temple Free Spirit is also having a potluck picnic there at noon (we are meeting by the duck pond.) I am really looking forward to tomorrow.

My first post

My cousin Emily has a cool blog that I like to read, and I wanted one too! So I grinned at my daddy, and he added me to mommy and daddy’s blog.

Today I’m going through another growth spurt, so I am eating almost all day.

When I’m not eating, mommy gives me tummy time. I am trying to learn how to roll over, I can already get to my side from my back or belly! I just can’t seem to get the rest of the way over. Maybe after this growth spurt I will be able to push myself the rest of the way over. Mommy has a video of me during tummy time, I’ll have her upload it.