Michael and Jaspenelle

Spring Showers

I love living in the Inland Northwest. I love living in a place that has amazing seasons changes and where I can feel the wheel of the year in action. I love the general timing of these changes here and how just when I begin to tire of one, the wheel turns. Admittedly Spring has taken the most adaptation on my part. There can be thunder, hail and snow all at once and then five minutes later the sun emerges so full of energy that the temperature jumps 15°F in 10 minutes, only for there to be a hard frost that night.

The gardener in me cringes somewhat at spring in Spokane but the dirty worshipping witch in me dances in the rain, laughs into the wind and basks in the radiant sun (all in the space of an hour mind you.) Soon enough summer will be here and the gardener will be appeased with zucchini, tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans and more though.

This weekend we will be camping with friends, assuming all of the Stewart household are healthy (Damian just healed from a head cold and so far Michael and I seem to have been mostly spared.) The forecast for Utopialaughastan* is expected to be 80°F and sunny so hopefully that will banish any remaining vestiges of illness on our part. With fingers crossed for good health, I can’t wait!

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* Utopialaughastan, aka New Geyershire, is 40 acres out near Moses Lake that our friend recently purchases. This will be our first trip out there as a group and we will be clearing an area for camping and blessing the land. Oh yes, there will be photos.

Beltane

The last harvest was brought in and winter is past. The Sun god having spent his energies providing the light and warmth needed for crops to flourish hung low over the southern sky. The God was spent and soon died. Mother Earth also labored hard under the sun and needed rest as can be told by the withered grasses and fallen leaves. Gaia curls up in slumber and awaits the day her consort will again return to her while protecting the seeds of life deep within her self. At Yule the new Sun God was born young and strong he was yet too distant to warm the Earth but watches Gaia slumber from afar. The Sun grew and became strong learning of the beauty of the Earth and those lovely creatures upon her. Though tempted by other’s beauty he yearns to be close to Gaia, to reunite with her. Growing ever stronger he circles closer gently warming her till she begins to awaken. Beneath the growing warmth of the Sun Gaia gently pushes the first new plants through the melting snows. Having grown to maturity the Sun encircles Gaia, warming the Earth and fully awakening her. They dance about one another while his passion burns…

This is part of the narration during the Beltane ritual that we attended this past Saturday at Sal and Rusty’s home in Medical Lake. Sal and Rusty reenacted the Sun enticing the Earth to bloom into summer. It was a beautiful rite full of love and a healthy dose of humor at some points! I was very honored to attend and be a part of it (I called water and set up the associated quarter altar.)

Beltane is an ancient Celtic festival celebrated around May 1st that marks the beginning of the pastoral summer season. For our modern day celebration of the rebirth of the warmer weather about 40 or 50 people showed up, which is a fantastic turn out for our area. Beyond the ritual (which included a labyrinth walk and spiral dance) we erected and wove a maypole, built a belfire and of course a huge groaning board feast, drumming, music, divination and as well as the usual camaraderie. Later people jumped the belfire too, in the rain, which was fun to watch.

The Inland Northwest felt as though we had to enjoy all her wonderful aspects throughout the day so we started of with bright warm wonderful sun, then some wild wind, then rain and more rain and finally a bit of clearing before the day was done, followed by more rain.

I don’t think the weather dampened anyone’s spirits though. If anything the success of this ritual makes me look even more forward to the Pagan Campout on summer solstice, though I don’t think I will play such an active role in it. It takes two to take care of a toddling Damian and I know I left Michael hanging a few times. Sometimes it is nice to just sit back and enjoy.

(The grounding labyrinth, walked before the ritual. If you would like to read more about Beltane, I blogged about it a couple years ago. I also have more photos from the day up here.)

I hope everyone had a blessed Beltane full of love, wonder, joy and peace.

Spring Self-Portrait

If I was keeping up a pattern here I would have a very long relatively informative post about the Vernal Equinox and my beliefs in the place of this photo. Truth is, I haven’t even gotten beyond the outline form in the past few weeks with moving and all. And I don’t have one ounce of shame regarding that fact, it will just have to wait until things settle down (and be posted next year.)

I took this photo of Damian and me in our backyard today. I was taking photos of the yard I can plan gardening work (what better way to celebrate the coming of Spring?) I have started working on two raised beds recently too. I’ll post pictures and descriptions about that later, but right now I need to go weave two loaves of challah bread and finish a curried chicken salad.

Oimelc

If today be sunny and bright, Winter again will show its might.
If today be cloudy and gray, Winter soon will pass away.

In northern climates, the first days of February look nothing like Spring, but if you look closely you can see the small but sturdy signs of changing seasons begin to appear. Maybe it rains more often then it snows, or the days are noticeably longer, maybe the winds bite is a little less harsh, or the sun a little warmer. Whatever the sign is, it hints that Spring is just around the corner.

Oimelc falls on February 1st, approximately half way between Winter Solstice and the Vernal Equinox. It literally means “ewe’s milk”, and refers to the ewes are nursing their newly born lambs, another indication of the coming of Spring. It is sometimes called Imbolc, Brighid, Lupercalia (not celebrated until the 13th) or Candlemas (though this refers to a Catholic holiday.)

As with many of the Pagan sabbats, Oimelc’s history is firmly rooted in Celtic tradition, though it also borrows some Roman and Christian ideas. Lupercalia was an ancient, possibly pre-Roman, festival where all evil spirits were driven out of the city and spirits of health and fertility were invited in. Old hearth fire were extinguished and new ones lit, old candles were also replaced and blessed. Many of Lupercalia’s customs were integrated into Catholicism when the Roman Empire converted, minus the orgies of course.

In Celtic culture, this was a time of weather divination, usually done by observing the hibernation patterns of snakes, many believe that this custom evolved into the secular Groundhog Day. The snake was a creature revered for its sacred wisdom. The snake was one of the many animals associated with the goddess Brighid, to whom this day is also given to, Là Fhéill Bhrìghde. She was such a powerful deeply ingrained symbol to the Celtic tribes, the Christian missionaries chose to make her a saint rather then try to remove her from importance.

Brighid was the keeper of the sacred flame and guardian of home and hearth, though she is said to have had two sisters, Brighid the Physician and Brighid the Smith. Most people see these three women as aspects of the same goddess, one of poetry, healing, and smithcraft.

In Scottish legend is the said that one the eve of Oimelc, the Cailleach (Old Woman Winter) takes a journey to a sacred well on a magical island. As dawn breaks , she drinks from it and is transformed into Bride (another spelling of Brighid), the beautiful maiden whose white wand turns the bare earth green again. Again, many people see the Cailleach and Bride and Brighid as one and the same, often referring to her as a triple goddess, at once maiden, mother and crone.

All these celebrations have led to very diverse Oimelc celebration among modern Pagans. This is a time many will reevaluate personal relationships and habits to decide what needs to be discarded in their lives. Renewal of old pledges or commitments to new ones are done at this time as well.

This emotional purging is often accompanied by physical purging, either by beginning Spring cleaning or decluttering altars and other spiritual supplies. Many Pagans make or purchase their candles for the year around this time and consecrate them on Oimelc as they are an important symbol of this sabbat.

On a personal level, I rarely do much on Oimelc. It has taken me a long time to be able to connect with this sabbat as most other Pagans I know connect it more with a goddess then a seasonal transformation. As I have become acclimated to life in the Inland Northwest though I have started to see the unique beauty in this time of year.

To me, Oimelc represents a hidden transformation. I feel the coming of Spring in my heart more then see it in the land. The increasing daylight lightens my mood and renews my energy so that I can work on projects that have probably taken a back burner during the drearier days Winter. I take time on Oimelc to meditate on what I would like to see grow in my life and in my community. If we listen closely we can hear the land whispering of the changing seasons. The Vernal Equinox is only seven weeks away and Oimelc celebrates the anticipation of Spring.

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Oimelc: in our home

(Collecting reeds with our friend Sal to make Brighid’s Crosses.)

Activities:

• Burning Winter Solstice greens
• Candle making and consecrating
• Candlelit purification procession
• Ritual: initiations, dedications
• Spring cleaning
• Visiting a spring or well
• Writing poetry

Crafts:

• Bread Making
• Brighid’s Wheel
• Candle Making
• Knitting and Weaving

Decorations:

• Candles
• Cauldron
• Colors: red, white
• Hibernating animals
• Seasonal plants and foods
• Suns
• Woolen items

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Oimelc: feast

We went over to some friends this year for Imbolc, so I just made bread and dip to share. Otherwise I would have made red (tomato) and white raviolis with cheese filling, roasted herbed potatoes and granitas from pluots I froze this summer. Maybe next year!

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BREAD: focaccia
This year I added 1/4 cup chopped dried tomatoes that I packed in oil this summer. I also infused some of the oil with basil and oregano and used that as well.

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BREAD DIP: Sun-dried Tomato and Basil

• 8 sun-dried tomatoes
• 1 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 tsp dried basil (2 tbsp fresh if you have it)
• 1/2 tsp cayenne

Put everything into a blender and pulse till smooth. Let sit for 6 hours or overnight.

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I hope you all have a most blessed and joyful Oimelc, Winter is drawing to a close and the wheel turns to the warmth of Spring.

A shooting star

The soul has wings that bring it forth into the wonder we know as Life, it comes to us from the Sommerlands, from Heaven, from the Unknown. In this state of Life, it can laugh, cry, awaken, mourn, create, frustrate, hope… love. Maybe sometimes the soul isn’t always ready for these wonders, it can be pretty overwhelming to be born, (or reborn) but when does choose to come forth into our marvelous, tumultuous, inspiring little world it is a truly amazing experience. I know this because I have given birth and I knew the moment I looked into Damian’s eyes that his radiant soul knew it too. Who knew one tiny blue speck in the vastness of the universe could harbor such amazing potential?

Life, as we known it, begins and ends, what comes before or after is a mystery to most. I know the soul exists, the evidence is in my dreams, Damian’s soul came to me on wings. I accept that come people don’t agree, some people see my evidence as simple faith but my faith makes all things possible. I definitely believe in the divine, maybe not a single omnipotent being, but I believe that there are sacred forces out there that are worthy of my respect.

To me Life is most certainly only one side of a coin, the Mystery is the other. Death (and Birth) I suppose is that thin edge connecting the two. It is a turning point, a veil, obscuring the great beyond. Many of us feel apprehension as we look at Death (and as we wait for a Birth too.) Why, do we fear the Mystery? To people of faith, we might feel an understanding of the Mystery, but even we see the transition as daunting and sometimes terrifying, both to watch and experience.

Everything must eventually die. From the body the soul takes flight once more back into the Mystery, into the embracing, welcoming and joyous light of the divine. For some, the ancestors who have not yet returned to Life will be there to greet them under the golden apple trees of the Sommerlands, for others all their loved ones in Heaven as well as God will be there with open arms. I know those I love and who have crossed over look back at us and smile. They send their love and check in from time to time.

Birth is a celebration, the midwifing a beautiful soul into our world. It is a mysterious and wondrous transition. Death is also mysterious but should it be celebrated? Sometimes the dieing are fortunate enough to be comforted, to be midwifed back into the Mystery, surrounded by those who love them. We hold varying degrees of rituals and celebrations for those who pass on. I do think some kind of farewell is necessary, if only to bring comfort to our own souls.

I had a dream last night, and echo of one I had when I was a few months pregnant, when I condor brought me Damian’s soul. I watched the condor as it lead a shinning flying soul into the starlit sky and the light of that soul grew as it rose, a blazing lantern at first, then a radiant sun, then an all colorful shifting blue and gold light, the aura that which faded into a streaking shooting star passing over the horizon of our Wild Old Mama Earth.

I knew I had to share the dream when I woke up, so here we are at the end of my post. I am a bit lacking for some form of eloquent conclusion so I will share I little Eskimo legend I heard once that seems strangely fitting with that dream.

On the darkest nights, near the stairway from Earth to the Sky (the constellation we know as Orion,) the ancestors come out to dance. The stars are the lights around their dance floor and they are the Gulla, the aura. They are letting us know that they are happy.

Breath.

Breath.
Breath love into the palms of your hands
and place your flaming palms over your heart.
Let this warmth melt your fears like wax before a fire
and watch the delicious softening reveal the wildflower of your heart.
We must live with Hearts Wide Open.
Hearts Wildly Open.

    - Kali Heydel

Winter Solstice

Brightly burns our fire tonight.
Magic dances with candlelight.

Hold my hand and join in song.
Raise the Sun King bright and strong!

Dark is giving way to light.
Brightly burns the fire tonight.

Winter Solstice is the shortest day and longest night of the year. It falls around December 21st of each year. It is a festival day in many cultures often calling for bright lights and fires, freshly cut evergreens, feasting with loved ones and singing and dancing. These festivities serve to rekindle the human spirit in the heart of winter.

In many modern Pagan traditions, Winter Solstice, is a celebration of the rebirth of the sun. Many still hold vigils awaiting the dawn, heralding the sun as the God reborn from the sacred womb of the Goddess. In other traditions a great battle is waged between the Oak King and Holly King where the Oak King triumphs returning to the world to longer warmer days.

It is a near certainty that Winter Solstice was of significant importance to ancient people, especially Proto-Celtic tribes. The evidence of this is obvious in the layouts of the stone monuments of New Grange in Ireland and Stonehenge in Britain. Each of these sites was carefully built to line up with the solstice sunrise. It can be suggested that the marking of midwinter was important for ancient communities because the people needed an approximate idea of how long their stored provisions had to last.

The most common alternate name for Winter Solstice is Yule a term originating from ancient Norse and Germanic tribes. It began as a celebration marking a 60 day time beginning at the lunar midwinter, but by the late Viking Age, it had become a great solstitial midwinter festival that amalgamated the traditions of various midwinter celebrations across Europe. On the the eve of Yule a huge log was lit in honor Thor, god of thunder, and feasting would continue until it burned out, which could be up to twelve days! A portion of the log was saved to be used in the lighting of the next year’s log. (more…)

Finding Faith

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

When I was a teenager, I was rather desperately trying to find faith. Faith in what, I didn’t know, but faith of some kind. It was not a desire that I frequently (if ever) discussed with most of my family or friends, I didn’t think they would understand. I don’t know why I am thinking about it today, probably because I heard Amazing Grace on the radio and that song always stirs a deep well of spiritual emotions in me.

When I was younger we visited Mexico and I stayed with my Uncle Philip for a week or two. He is a minister so we attended his church. They sang and danced and some of the people in his church were “touched” by God. They collapsed on the floor and it looked like they were having seizures. I was completely terrified. I did not understand why God had to induce medical problems like that to make people feel his presence. It seemed cruel and wrong. I felt really out of place because I felt nothing, not so much as a twitch or inkling of another tongue. So I just stood there until my brother came over and we left and went for a walk I think.

I am not saying that the people in that church were wrong in there practice, they have a right to it. But I am saying that I was not emotionally prepared to be thrown into an environment like that without any notice. The masses I have been to in Catholic churches in France were… a lot different. I don’t blame anyone for the experience of course, but it certainly influenced my views of God.

When we lived in Spain (age 14 to 18), I remember the longing for guidance being particularly intense. I often went on walks down to one of the churches in Sitges and just sat in the pews, sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for more then an hour. A man (I’m pretty sure he was a priest) came over and tried to talk with me a couple times and I passed myself off as a tourist. I was too scared to talk to him. If I spoke better Spanish, I told myself, I would go to confession. I don’t know what I would have said though. Instead of confession I spoke to God instead, telling him all the things that were on my mind, and then I waited. I don’t know what I was wait for, guidance I suppose. Though I think at the time I might have needed really bold statement to notice, an angel or white light and voice. I think I wanted him to appear, not speak to me through a messenger.

I only went to this church once on a Sunday and it was too much for me. I felt so very out of place. I was not very much for public displays of emotion, so when I was there on Sunday, surrounded by all those people of strong Christian faith, I felt like a fraud.

Sometimes I skipped school and would just wander around until I found a church. I would sit in a pew staring at the altar or building architecture and talking to God. I would be there usually until someone came up and tried to start a conversation with me. That always scared me off. Eventually I figured out that God wasn’t going to answer me, not in the way I wanted at least, and Christianity wasn’t right for me. So I stopped going to churches and started going to parks.

I have been aware of and involved with various forms of Paganism since I was about 14. When I wasn’t sitting in a pew I was reading about Paganism. I tried to talk to the Goddess in church a couple times but I was worried God was going to hear me giving up on him. The Christian God has always has the stern father archetype in my mind.

Anyhow, when I gave up on church I started going to parks and it was in one I found faith. I remember exactly how it happened. I had skipped school that day, my friend was going to come with me but she bailed last minute so I was alone. I wandered to a park near my school. I found a secluded bench surrounded by flowers and weeping trees. I laid there, closed my eyes and asked for a sign. When I opened my eyes and saw the sun filtering through the leaves above me. It was at that exact moment I found faith. It was a feeling that is really hard to describe (unless you have been there I guess.)

I didn’t cry or collapse or anything, I just knew that I was in the presence of something amazing. I felt as though Mother Earth had risen up and hugged me and Father Sky wrapped me a cocoon of light. I didn’t feel guilty or like a fraud, I felt unconditionally loved and welcomed. They weren’t there as angels or priests but they were there in person, not so much as gods but more as eternal but kindred spirits embodied in the trees, flowers, sun and sky. They were tangible and real, and they saved me.

One could say I have been a devoted “Pagan” ever since, though I don’t follow the God and Goddess, I walk with them. We are all Eternal Spirits. They are much older and more knowledgeable then I of course but not detached omnipotent beings. When I speak to them I feel them immediately and viscerally. They are real to me.

A lot more happened between that day and now that has shaped my faith but I will save it for another post.

Dream: Aura

I had a dream the other night that Damian (my son) was surrounded by different colored lights. I have had similar dreams in the past but this one was particularly vivid, so I thought I would draw it.

I don’t know much about auras but it kind of reminds me of aura drawings I have seen. I thought I would post it because I like how it looks and thought someone might have some thoughts on interpreting it.

(Helaris posted and interesting interpretation of this here, on my deviantart.)

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Samhain Podcast

I am launching my first podcast today!

It is a Pagan podcast focused on the sabbats, beliefs, religious tolerance and current events.

Today’s podcast is about Samhain of course! I talk about some traditions, reflect on my grandpa Jack and share one of my poems. It is 13 minutes long.

Click here to visit Paganites.com and listen to the Samhain podcast.

Let me know if you listen and what you think.