Michael and Jaspenelle

The Shape of a Mother

While talking about postpartum bodies the other day another mother said:

“This belly button is 3 generations in the making: my mama gave it to me and my babies decorated it.”

That was enough to make me look at my postpartum body in a completely different light. I am not ugly, I don’t need to hide away until “ideal beauty” is reached again (as if that were even possible, or desirable.) Michael has been telling me daily that I am beautiful, inside and out. He is right, I am beautiful.

Carrying Damian has changed me forever, I am learning to love this change, after all I wouldn’t have him if not for it.

The Shape of a Mother

My belly may or make not shrink. I am at peace with that.
36-inches around and I have never felt more beautiful.
A number cannot define me, I will not give it that power.
Body, mind and soul I am balanced and I am healthy,
– waist size notwithstandingl
This body brought forth life.
What greater beauty is there then that?

I am the vessel from which life poured.
I am a mother.

These stretch marks will always be with me.
Commericals may tell me to laser them off,
– but I love them all.
My son has changed my soul forever, for the better.
My body too is changed forever, for the better.
These marks are my tattoo of motherhood.

I have crossed a threshold.
I am a mother.

My hips are bigger, my old jeans don’t fit.
These hips birthed my son, they are beautiful.

My breasts are bigger, they soak my shirts.
These breasts nourish my son, they are beautiful.

My heart and my soul are bigger, my emotions overflow.
This heart and this soul love my son, they are beautiful.

I am a mother.
I am strong.
I am beautiful.

I am a mother.

~ by Jaspenelle Stewart

I may submit this to The Shape of a Mother, not sure yet. Eitherway, check out the website and all the beautiful mamas who have contributed. I think we can all agree that the mainstream view of beauty has to change, we can begin this change within ourselves and the minds of our children.

Jesus

It is perhaps because I follow a Pagan path, but most people are surprised when I tell them I follow many of Jesus’s teachings quite strongly. It is also the main reason I stay away from strictly organized religion, most Christians take issue that I don’t believe Jesus was the Son Of God in the traditional sense. I care more about his teachings then family tree. Jesus also had is own issues with organized religion, I think he would be horrified to see the things that have been done in his name.

To me “God” is simply a universal energy (Great Mystery/Manitou/Qi) that connects us all, from which we create facets that form our individual deities (Yahweh, Aphrodite, Isis, Three Pure Ones, Olorun, Ninhursag etc. Spaghedeity?) to help us better understand our present situation. In that light, I think we are all part of “God”.

Anyhow, about Jesus. To me he was a great spiritual teacher, like Buddha, and when you strip away all the dogma that now surrounds him (and who knows what that was lost in translation) Jesus’s teachings are mostly very basic and immensely powerful concepts.

Jesus taught love. There is no commandment greater than this. He taught this concept through compassion towards others, healing the sick, washing his disciples feet, stopping the stoning of a woman etc. Our actions speak louder the words and compassion is an amazing force I try to live my life by. It is certainly not always easy, especially when it comes to loving your enemy. I try to remember that my enemies can be my greatest teachers though. (This teaching is what drives a huge wedge between me and some Christians who spew hatred towards people who don’t follow their exact flavor of Christianity.)

Jesus taught forgiveness. Beyond requesting forgiveness from God (which I don’t do) Jesus said we must first learn to forgive those who have wronged us, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” This is another exercise in compassion, it can be hard to keep forgiving someone, and sometimes we must determine if they are truly sorry for their actions or if it ourself imposing our own beliefs on them. It is hard to be the judge of such things… which leads to the next point.

Jesus taught us not to be hypocrites. We have all done bad things (”sinned” if you prefer) and it is hypocritical to take an eye for an eye. Our love and compassion should be our guide on how we treat others, not man-made rules. I try to always live what I believe, leading by example? Ultimately I believe we win people over by love, not force (which is probably why threats of damnation and hell never work on me.) We should live and love not “for show” but because we truly want to live by that virtue.

Jesus taught prayer. Yes I pray, though I may not call them that and they are also not directed towards any deity. For me a prayer is simply a silent or vocal acknowledgment of gratitude. It is easier to me to remain in a place of wholeness and love if I take time to remember the things I am thankful for. Whether I am saying a blessing over dinner or taking time each day to list things that bring me joy, I see them all as prayers.

Jesus taught generosity. There is one story in the New Testament, where Jesus and his disciples are watching people donate to a temple. An old woman gives a couple coins, which is nothing next to other donations, but it is everything she had. Jesus says she is the most charitable of them all. When you give with love and expect nothing in return you open yourself to receive a multitude of gifts. I know this to be true in my life through experience, when I give, even in difficult times, new and unexpected ways to flourish open to me. Jesus never said that it is bad thing to be wealthy, but it is a bad thing to become blinded by the need for possessions. When you cannot part with your wealth to share even a little compassion, you become a slave to it.

My beliefs are pretty much a mishmash of everything I have read, which is probably why the Pagan path is so appealing to me. We have no doctrine and are free to make our own and adapt it as we learn and grow. My main spiritual focus has always been around being a steward of the Earth, whom I refer to a Mother Earth, and intrinsic part of that is the practice of compassion because if we show compassion for all things it is easier to nurture healing and growth (in my opinion at least.) Jesus’s teachings certainly are filled with compassion, hence they are solidly integrated with my personal beliefs.

I didn’t realize such a diverse crowd read my blog, thanks for all you comments on my last post!

The Biannual Question

Who all reads my blog? What kind of posts keep you coming back?

Let me know and leave me a link if you have a blog too! (And am I the only one who uses gravatars?)

In the park

Michael, Jaspenelle and Damian in Riverfront Park, Spokane.

(This is a little bit of a deviation from the usual square format I use in my photoblog. My father actually took this photo, but I want to put it in a 5×7 frame I have so I spent some time modifying it in GIMP. I am really pleased with the final product.)

Blessed Lughnasadh!

Blessed Lughnasadh!

(I wrote about this sabbat last year if you would like to read more about it. I’ve learned more since that article but it is still a good general overview.)

Lughnasadh is going to be quite different for us this year since we now have Damian! His grandpa Tolman will be here to visit. I want to make an effort to celebrate all the sabbats with Damian but this one might wait till next weekend. I like that cross-quarter days are flexible like that! Heck my solstices and equinoxes kind of are too.

This year I am going to share my seasonal feast recipes with you. I haven’t tried to peach one yet so I will have to get back to you about how that ones goes. My recipes are all very loose and leave a lot of room for personal taste. I rarely follow instructions except if I am making bread… even then I tend to switch to whole wheat… Speaking of whole wheat, Lighnasadh does celebrate the grain harvest so how about some bread?

BREAD: Baguette

• 1 tbsp active dry yeast
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 1 1/2 cups warm water
• 2 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 cup bread flour
• 3 cups whole wheat flour

- In a large bowl combine honey and warm water, stir in yeast. Let sit for 10 minutes, until foamy.
- Add salt. Add flours 1 cup at a time until dough starts to come together. Turn out onto a floured surface and kneed in the rest of the flour until smooth (about 10 minutes.)
- Place dough in an oiled and turn to coat the surface. Cover and let stand in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 to 2 hours.
- Punch down and form into long slender loaf (approx 21 inches long and 3 inches wide.) Place diagonally on a lightly greased large baking sheet and let rise uncovered for about 30 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 400 F.
- After loaf has risen make 3-6 diagonal slashes on it with sharp knife and lightly brush top with cool water. Bake for 30 minutes or until golden. Cool on wire rack. (If you can wait long enough for it to cool, warm baguette smothered in fresh butter or preserves, yum!)

APPETIZER: Bruschetta
There is about a dozen different ways to make this, but this is the way I grew up with, more or less. The ingredients are very flexible and can (and should!) be done to taste.

• 6 tomatoes, seeded and diced
• 2 to 4 cloves garlic, minced (I use a garlic press)
• a handful of fresh basil leaves, chopped
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
• 1 baguette (homemade)
• Olive oil

- Toss together tomatoes, garlic and basil. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside to allow flavors to meld.
- Slice baguette into 1-inch pieces and toast. Drizzle with olive oil. (Alternately you can cut the garlic cloves in half and rub them against the toast before drizzling.)
- Top with tomato mixture and serve.

MAIN DISH: Grilled Chicken Salad

• 4 grilled chicken breasts, sliced
• Homemade raspberry vinaigrette
• 1 head lettuce, torn up - I like red leaf or romaine
• 2 cups spinach, torn up
• 2 cucumbers, seeded and diced
• 1 cup corn
• 2 or 3 or 4 tomatoes, seeded and diced
• 1 cup mozzarella, cubed or shredded

- Make vinaigrette. Mine uses about 8 tbsp olive oil, 3 tbsp raspberry vinegar, 1 to 2 tbsp local honey, 1 tsp dry mustard, 1 1/2 tsp lemon juice, 2 cloves garlic, salt and pepper. Still all that in a jar and shake. Viola vinaigrette. (I make my own raspberry vinegar but I have seen it in some stores, you could use any fruit vinegar, or apple cider vinegar, or balsamic for that matter.)
- Marinate chicken breasts in some vinaigrette for 30 minutes to and hour. Or you can be inpatient like me and stick some vinaigrette and the chicken in a ziplock and hit with with a rolling pin a few times until it flattens. Force marination.
- Grill chicken and slice. I like it left warm but you could certainly chill if that is your thing.
- In a large bowl toss together your chicken and your other ingredients with more vinaigrette. (Alternately, you could layer it lettuce, spinach, cucumbers, corn, tomatoes, cheese.)

DESSERT: Grilled Peaches
I can’t wait to try this. I saw it on the news awhile ago and since peaches are in season right now, what better way to celebrate the local harvest! Not sure if I see the point of the brown sugar, fresh local peaches are already very sweet.

• Peaches, 1 per personal
• 2 tsp brown sugar per peach
• Melted butter, enough to brush your peaches with
• Vanilla ice cream

- Cut peaches along the seam all the way around and twist off the pit. Brush cut sides with butter.
- Cook, cut side down, on a hot grill until fruit has grill marks, 3 to 4 minutes.
- Brush tops with butter, turn over, and move to indirect heat. Put 1 tsp of sugar in each peach where the pit was.
- Cover grill and cook until sugar is melted and fruit is tender, 5 to 10 minutes.
- Serve hot with vanilla ice cream.

If you celebrate Lughnasadh what do you intend of filling your family’s bellies with? Even if you don’t what are you having for dinner? Some local foods too I hope!

This new design

As you have probably noticed (unless you read blogs solely through RSS, like me, or livejournal - if so, visit the site!) Michael has completely redesigned the layout, which he blogged about. He didn’t purposely keep the new design for me, but rather, I haven’t had the time to shoulder surf as he works lately. So the new design almost feels like a surprise to me.

I’ve never been a huge fan of cluttered sites and I love this design because it feels so bright and clean (even though I still need to reorganize the links and blogroll.) I have to admit, in my mommy brained sleep dep mode I couldn’t find the comment link on my page (doh!) but it is in fact right there in the left column, where I looked a dozen times and then twittered it was the right column… (dyslexics untie!) In my defense most blogs I read have it at the bottom of the posts. I like this new placement though.

I love the Twitter feeds under Michael and my blogs on the frontpage too. Damian doesn’t have one, a little young for texting (I usually twitter via my phone.) The “HMOTD” tweet means “Happiest Moment of the Day” by the way. It is one of my daily practices in gratitude. I got the idea from another twitterer.

Damian might not have a Twitter, but he does have a blog now, which is quite possibly my favorite feature. It is underneath Michael’s on the main page. Not that he can type yet, but Michael and I are more then happy to write what we think he is thinking. A lot of his development updates and daily life-with-baby stuff will probably end up there. My sister-in-law has a similar one for her daughter Emily that I love.

Anyhow I am a creature of habit so it will take me some getting use to, but so far I am loving it.

Feline Friday: The Cuteness Contest

Windigo is definitely competing for cutest pose in this shot…

His eye infection is mostly cleared up by the way. The anti-viral cream, which actually turned out to be a dietary supplement, works well. We have to keep it up though or it comes back within a couple days.

I don’t care how they flavor any cat medication by the way, my cats will never ever lick it off my finger. Does anyone’s cat take medication willingly?

Breastfeeding Commercial

Parade Rose

Photos from Manito

This past Saturday, our photographer friend Andrea did some family photos of us in Manito Park. It was really fun. I really love how the photos turned out, Andrea did an excellent job.

We are hoping to get her to take a set every few months for the first year. We are going to be getting prints of a few of our favorites from this shoot. I can’t wait to see them! (and frame and scrapbook them. I have been working on Damian’s “First Year” scrapbook lately.)

This one of us is one of my favorite of the three of us (we are getting a couple extra prints of it for family too.)

These are a few of the others from that day: